Step Yo Game Up If You Want A Better Prize...

So a couple weeks back I wrote a blog talking about women and what they want from a man. Granted it was quite the long winded expose of sorts but we somehow got through it in one piece; you can go check it if you haven't seen it here: http://zalgocometh.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-dilemma-of-nice-guy.html. With that being said on today's random blog-post I figured I would talk about the similar topic but from a different angle I have been thinking of. So I been thinking a lot about life and companionship and how as humans we really don't exist on this world to end up alone and without someone to compliment our personality and being as individuals. Sadly however this seems to have  become near impossible or at the very least increasingly difficult with each generation that passes. Whether this is due to feminism, a change in societal views or maybe we as men have lost sight of what a man should be and and woman should be but something has gone very awry. This current state of affairs leaves men asking the above "just what do these women really want from us?" but in reality we are more wondering why don't they want what we expect them to want?

Lets take it back for a second; kick it old school for a bit. Granted the olden ways may or may not be the best ways but if there wasn't some truth to the saying then it wouldn't exist in the first place. So back in the days of time long ago when we had kings and queens and prince and princess's and peasants and paupers; ok you get the idea . Back in medieval times granted women were somewhat repressed and not afforded most the opportunities men were but these were simpler times when all a man had to do was prove his valor to earn his fair maiden's hand in marriage; well that or slay a dragon I guess but ain't no body got time for that. Fast forward to the age of the 60's when it was all peace and love all around and people were way open and upfront with drugs, peace and love. There weren't really any rules or mixed messages you were just either down with the flower power or you were a square who was just a lackey for the government and against freedom.This was probably where the age of female empowerment and feminism started kicking off and would forever change the gender roles for years to come.

Salt N Pepa - Independent by jpdc11

So with feminism empowering women all the round world we saw a dramatic change in women and how they saw their roles in society. Somewhere along the line women started wanting to not only be treated equally but also allowed the same tendencies as men. Essentially becoming what they saw as a man and having that level of equality in their head. We see cases of this in the media such as the song above shows compound that with the thought with this new found independence and freedom the woman no longer even needs a man because she feels she runs shit and was truly meant to be a strong independent woman. Now i'm not saying there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have equal rights and self worth but I think when it gets to the stage where you feel you don't need or what a man or that none are out there for you that you need to realize that there is much fuckery afoot. Just because you are afforded some of the things men had over the years does not disavow the fact that at your core you are a woman and are held at such the standards that are what define a woman. As such men will still try to hold the door open for you at times or see you as the fairer sex and want to shelter and protect you. It is not an insult or a ploy to downplay your independence and strength because we as men all have and love our mothers so respect is always due in some way or another. So lets look at some of the things men hope for/expect from women.

No mind games, no second guessing, no hints just be open and upfront. All the years of feminism and equality talks and you want us to believe you don't have the confidence to this day to speak up? Nah; ain't nobody got time for that. If you are a blessed woman who actually knows what she wants you really shouldn't be downplaying your uniqueness and lowering yourself to the common woman's status. This is quite possibly one of the sexiest things a woman can do; when she exudes confidence she basically confuses the guy cause he is more than likely not used to a woman being like that; essentially being the hunter and not the hunted. Just know that the onus is on you to not only get but also hold on to the good in the man that you see and want for yourself. Once you accomplish this and essentially have secured your man you will bring out the best in him continually and he will do so with you continually to ensure both parties involvement and happiness. If you want something serious say you want something serious, if you want a fuck buddy then say you want a fuck buddy. Take nothing for granted and explain everything and you will see the quality of your life with men increase I guaran-damn-tee it. This is your first step to being more than a woman...

Once you have begun your journey to secure the man you so desire you have the maintenance aspect to ascertain. At the end of the day a mans desires or goals for interaction with a woman are usually pretty clear. He either wants sex, wants to be just friends, or wants to be friends until he can get sex with minimal complications. As such there isn't much guessing that needs to be done on the woman's part in terms of what it takes to keep and/or please your man; so this is why I feel the onus of the relationship initiation process should fall primarily with the female to ascertain whether or not her intended male is worthy of such from her. From there she can help the man to shape and improve himself to be the perfect match for her and she can provide the love and devotion he needs from her. You don't need the distractions of what is around you or may appeal to you because that will only lead to problems; people say they need space from their partner all the time which I think is dumb. If that's the case why the hell did you bother getting a partner if your space is that important to you in the first place. They say the devil finds work for idle hands but I say if you have your hands all around your partner loving them then what else you gonna go find time for?

Let me try to wrap this all up and hope I haven't confused and lost you by now. You know that saying if you think it you can achieve it? Well as cliche as that sounds its actually a reality but the problem is that figuring out what a lady wants when you aren't one is a tricky game. Most women either aren't sure what they really need or want a mid balance which is hard to achieve. They want a respectful man but in the same breath want a strong authoritative man who will tell them what to do but still somehow not ignore what it is that they want in the process. They want a man that will listen to them rant and complain but at the same time not point out the flaws and fallacies of what they are complaining about. they want a man who is great at sex but also respectful of her body and when it is she wants to have sex or not even though a man has a much higher sex drive than a woman in most cases. The list goes on and on, balance isn't impossible in some cases but have you ever tried balancing a father on a needle? that shit ain't easy; so I feel its better to eliminate the second guessing and just let the man know straight up what it is he is getting himself into and working towards securing for himself and his future. Let him know what he is making a decision towards putting up with for the future to come. Courting is most definitely still a man's responsibility but the onus is on the woman to guide and give feedback along the way to show that whatever effort the man is to make is abundantly worthwhile and necessary because you are more than a woman. 

So basically if tldr; watch from the 1:13 mark cause it will eliminate a lot of the unnecessary relationship head games:

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The Dilemma Of The Nice Guy

Time and time again you have probably heard the phrase Nice guys finish last; but I challenge you today to come to the realization that Nice guys don't necessarily finish last. In reality they aren't even in the race to finish at all. I'll get into that in a second, but on that note welcome to another Monday blog. This one is just a quick post as it was a concept that came to mind after talking to some fellow coworkers. Also apologies if this doesn't turn out to be one of my greatest blog posts as honestly i'm without light at the moment but i crave the internet so I have a makeshift daisy chain of surge-protectors and extension cords running from my land lord place so I can at least charge my gadgets.

Now fundamentally nice guys think they have it all figured out as to how they should treat a woman and all that is well and fine but what they fail to realize; myself in included as a born again nice guy is that not even women know what the hell they want in all honesty. It is for this reason that so much discrepancy exists in our world in the battle of the sex's and why it is a running joke that nice guys finish last and the assholes are winning. In truth and in fact is that assholes win the sprints but the nice guys tend to stay in it for the marathons. granted this kinda sucks because nice guys have to work twice as hard as assholes for roughly the same or lesser treatment but no one ever said life was fair. So above we have a pretty self explanatory expose into what a girl wants and needs right. Lets move on to hear what else they seemingly need.

So now we have basis for two viewpoints as to what women want from their men. I know its an established saying that women like a man in uniform but that ain't the type of soldier Destiny's child be singing about. They be about that thug life aka the hustler's ambition, granted that's fine as a good staple point of a man is the desire to provide and handle his "bizniz". One could surmise that honestly the less options you leave available for a woman the more she grows to appreciate and accept that which is in front of her. Granted that isn't always the best scenario for instance in a abusive relationship where the woman is being controlled to an extreme degree. Women do however gravitate to authority and assertiveness so we know that much to be true. Sadly its a thin line between being the man and being a controlling man based on what her current mood is. Lets take it a step further and see what else we can find that a woman needs.

So yeah if by this point you are confused then we are on the right track because Jah know I ran out of paper trying to write down all the stuff that these songs are saying are required of a man. Oh and let it be known that depending on the mood of the woman any or none of these requirements are expected to be met in full at a moments notice. WHAT, THE ACTUAL, FUCK?? So what can we take from this roller coaster of demands that need to be met in varying amounts for the variety of women in existence? Confidence is key; this is the number one reason why assholes win while nice guys are left to clean up the broken messes that they leave in their wake in the hopes of a better future. So we as nice guys need to take a page or two from the assholes and find a balance between the confidence and alluring machismo that assholes exude and the nice gentlemanly behavior that we hold near and dear to our hearts. Women like to have something to do/work on so you cant be the perfect gentleman and expect them to not get bored not having something interesting to hold their interest and tinker with. Women also need to wise out to the asshole tactics and realize the true value in a nice guy regardless if he doesn't have the alluring confidence that makes your panties wet saying all the right things. Nice guys are still learning and have flaws that can be tinkered with and worked on to your liking but with way less risk and heart break at the end of the road. Anywhore looking forward to hear y'all thoughts and experiences as such cause we are all here to learn so share the knowledge and opinions... 

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Precisely Perfect Partner

OK so maybe my name is spelled wrong on this cake and maybe that isn't even my girlfriend but damn she winning major points in the best girlfriend ever category. It's Monday again so you know what that means; time for me to talk about some random topic to hopefully entertain and maybe even educate you. So oddly enough I have been single for about 4 months I think or something. Pardon the lack of time keeping but time kinda froze and jumbled together so don't really recall. Oddly enough recently someone asked me what I look for in a girl and if I was ready to start dating. If there's one thing I learned from my last relationship its probably that I shouldn't be in a relationship; cause honestly I'm starting to think that my idealistic fairy tale view of relationships on a whole is a bit misguided. Don't get me confused; I don't think its wrong I just accept the fact that what I expect of myself I probably shouldn't of others because they come from a different background so they have different values. Granted my views may not be that for all men but i'm of the opinion that on some level most men would probably agree with me. Enough of my rambling in any case the point is today i'm going to break down what makes the ideal partner for a man from my standpoint; feel free to disagree/agree as well as post your comment below giving your insight and opinion as well.

Everyone knows the standard definition of a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets basically highlighting both sides to the perfect woman but what I am going to look at is the physical appearance and the personality. What really matters in a woman in truth and in fact is her personality but its not like they go around wearing their personality  for the world to see. So we are at first as males attracted to the physical appearance and then after time we get to know the personality. Plus its way easier to break down the physical so we will start with that first:

PHYSICAL

• Anywhere between 5"-5"10" is an acceptable height for a female based off the fact that the height of the average male is between 5"5" - 6". Anything outside this range is troublesome depending on your own height in relation. If she is too short it looks a bit awkward not to mention people as well as police officers might judge you without knowing the full story that you aren't actually a pedophile. If she is way taller than you it looks a bit emasculating for you as the man not to mention even the girl herself might be self conscious about towering over you and not being able to wear heels around you.

• Long hair isn't so much a necessity but it is a big plus as a staple point identifier of a woman is her hair. Ideally one would hope to see shoulder length hair but due to society and fashion changing as always concessions have to be made somewhere so as a minimum neck length hair is pretty much acceptable. This is the perfect example of what I am talking about. This pic of Rihanna is perfectly acceptable as she still looks pretty feminine where we have an issue is when I can clearly see your scalp or you feel the need to carve out designs in your skull like a billboard. Still acceptable depending on the level of love but no way will it be better looking than long hair.

• A womanly asset is key; this takes form in a variety of ways on a woman and is seemingly a major defining feature to define her femininity. The main ones that ideally we as men look for are; the breasts, the ass, the camel toe, the figure, the lips, the hips, the hands, the eyes, the clean skin, and the feet. (yes some guys are into that kind of stuff; don't judge). If you possess one or more of these in an above average manner you are well on your way to being the perfect woman. So give yourself a pat on the back; you deserve it.

PERSONALITY

Here comes the tricky part and possibly the part that's going to get me into a lot of trouble. I reiterate these are just the personal musings and ramblings of myself and the men out there that might agree with me so don't take them as gospel for all mean or think of us as trying to be chauvinistic. With that being said here we go:

• An eagerness to please and loyal. Now don't get me wrong we aren't talking about like a stalker type level of omniscience where she just knows all the right things to do even though that would be pretty cool but more so just a show of dedication to pleasing and taking care of her man. Take up an active interest in something of importance to your man that he holds dear to solidify your inclusion in an important aspect of his life. Granted most men seemingly gravitate towards woman who exude qualities of their mother in the caring and nurturing manner but its what we as men grow accustomed to as children and as such we seek to at least recreate that genuine feeling of unbiased and pure love that most of us received from our mothers. Its a reason they say ain't no love like a mothers love but doesn't mean you can't try to emulate it as best as possible.

• Submissive in nature. Men ideally don't like conflict especially with the fairer sex; as such a woman who is a bit submissive in nature is a big plus as it means she appreciates the role of the man in the relationship and family. It is up to the man to prove he is worthy of such submissiveness and show his worth as a man and care giver. A big part of which entails not taking advantage of the aforementioned submissiveness but realizing it is a gift and not something he is entitled to. If that worth is shown on his part then his just rewards should be this well worth submissiveness in all its glory. Now before anyone gets their proverbial panties in a bunch i'm not saying the man should own the woman and be all controlling and such cause that's not a healthy relationship. However the woman shouldn't constantly be having to argue with the man or make snarky comments or deny him of sex out of spite or cheat on him and all these other things that have seemingly become the norm n our society. You love and work it out or you leave and let it be, simple as that.

• Confidence and open mindedness. Know your man and be proud of him in every way shape and form. At no point as a woman should you be in the relationship and not  be thinking of how much you appreciate your man in comparison to others and cherish him all the more for the good that he does for you. If that is not the case and he isn't living up to or trying to live up to the standards of a good man then you need to have the confidence to let him know what you are feeling and what you need from him to make things work and give him the chance to prove himself as a man. Also when it comes to sex a mans greatest weakness is being seduced by a woman he has interest in. Many have fallen prey to the wiles of a confident woman who takes initiative, is open minded and leads him in all the right directions. Know that you are worth a mans time and attention and prove it.

• Be caring and sentimental. You are a girl as such you are expected to be an emotional being even if you aren't  in truth in grasp of your emotions. Give your man the chance to grow and experience your emotions with you so you can grow together. Men like attention so if you decide to pay him the right kinds of attention then we have all the more reason as men to want your presence around us and be with you even more. Any man can attest to the fact that a man would rather feel like his woman is annoying him and try to get space from her than feel like he has to beg for her attention or wonder where her attention actually is being focused. Men are really still kids at heart; its like we have a favorite toy that we play with till we see a new one we want to try out but then as soon as we see the old toy about to be played with we instinctively want it back. So we are all just looking for that special toy that served us well and got us through the hard times that we can cherish and revere.

I realize I might have rambled a bit trying to piece together my thoughts coherently to somewhat string this blog together and as such I posted the above picture that helps itemize somewhat the personality/attitude of the perfect woman. Granted some of these are done on a basis of humor but the idea is in the right place and displays most of the traits I mentioned. If at any point I lost or confused you in reading this blog feel free to ask individual questions in the comments section and i'll try to better answer/express my views on the specific matter. Granted I know we are all imperfect beings and all of what I said wont exist in one person but it doesn't stop an individual from trying to emulate as much of it as possible for the person you love and are in a relationship with. Any man who expects these from a woman should be just as exemplary in his duties as a partner and also strive to exemplify what it means as a man to deserve these things from his partner. Compromise is also key because some traits will be learnt over time and others can be improved upon if not quite at the level they need to be so that needs to be kept in mind. I as a man may not be perfect but i'm going to damn well try to be as close to perfect for the woman i'm with because she deserves nothing but the best that I can give. That is my duty as a man to care for my woman.

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Last I Checked Fat Didn't Discriminate...

You know what it is; Zalgo here again with another blog post. So grab your popcorn pull up your chair and take off your undies;.......ok maybe scratch that last one. So today we are gonna talk about something that has been on my mind recently that seems kinda unfair. This is the topic of gender discrimination when it comes on to body image; this wont be a long blog since i'm just going to touch on the topic cause I kinda wanna see what the feedback is like from y'all concerning the topic.

Now everyone knows there are pardon the pun but a pound and a half of different reasons why being fat isnt exactly the best of choices in life, nevertheless some people fall prey to genetics and as such tend to have to live with said fatness. No don't get me wrong here I don't have anything against fat people  as long as you aren't being excessive with it and ignoring your health completely; where I have a problem is the difference in discrimination that occurs. Why is it that a fat male may more than likely be ostracized or treated less favorably than a fat female? Are females that shallow in comparison to males who are more willing to get with a fat chick? Why is it that the male has to have life that much harder than the female of equal standing? Are we doomed to a life of having to worry about getting a six pack or looking like Channing Tatum to have hopes of finding love or getting laid? Speaking of Channing Tatum his new movie Magic Mike is a shining perpetuation of the aforementioned stereotype; sadly however I see no such movie for the female side of that rainbow.





So lets take a look individually at these two, still trying to keep this short by the way. So with the females men will be more willing to hook up with a fat/plus sized girl than a female will be to hook up with a guy; but why is that? Well lets see what we can list out some reasons:

1. There is a genre of porn dedicated to them. (Google BBW)
2. They got dat ass.
3. They got them titties.
4. They know how to cook well or know someone how can.
5. They give the best hugs.
6. If you can maneuver one around in sex you are considered a man.
7. They give good head.
8. They can defend themselves physically.
Etc, Etc, Etc,...So its pretty clear the ladies have a lot going on for them even though its a bit biased they are allowed to let themselves go and not face as harsh judgement as the males.





Now we look at the male side of the rainbow, what praises can we sing of them to sway more females into giving more of them a chance:
1. They are typically quite faithful.
2. Excellent chefs.
3. Last longer in bed.
4. Pay more attention to the woman's needs and seeks to please her to keep her.
5. His belly = your own personal, portable pillow
6. Weighty guys enjoy life more than thin men.
7. Heavier men are softer and more squeezable than skinny studs.
8. He'll never criticize your weight or your food portions.

Etc, Etc, Etc...See; even the plus sized men deserve to have a chance at a loving relationship, speaking as a past plus sized fellow please give the men the time of day. A six pack and what not isn't always the best of foundations for a relationship; a picture maybe but not a relationship...not saying that's all you ladies base it on but just an example. Plus sized men already have it hard enough trying to impress the modern woman without them making it harder by not at least giving them the time of day and a proper opportunity.

Well that's my rant for today; whether or not you agree or disagree feel free to comment your thoughts. I should probably reiterate that this was just a rant and not an expose in bashing females rights to choose or the preferences or belittling plus sized men as i'm sure there are a fair portion out there probably getting more pussy than a lot of average sized men. So ill just leave you with the awesomeness that is a fatter man...

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