Relationships & You...

The term relationship is defined as; the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. We see above an example of how a relationship between two people can work; both parties working together to accomplish an objective. In our society and lifetime in general exists many types of relationships; with Valentines day less than a month away I figured I would take a bit to talk about the subject. Relationships exist at the most rudimentary level in our ecosystem and are listed in three main categories; commensalism, mutualism, and parasitism. Maybe after reading you might see the type of relationship you want or fit into...

Above we have the infamous Dutch Rudder; a move that is truly something special and rarely experienced. This maneuver is a perfect example of a Commensalism oriented relationship. This is where you have a relationship between two organisms in which one benefits and the other derives neither benefit nor harm. This can be linked to maybe what we see in a sugar daddy/mamma situation where the sugar person in question provides financial care with no expectations of a return on their contributions besides the persons happiness. My favorite celebrity crush Brianna Frost I know is fortunate enough to benefit from a relationship of this kind. Kind men from across the world send her donations through her site or buy her things off her Amazon wishlist and will probably never even get a hug much less to meet her in person.

The next relationship type we have to look at is the Parasitism type; this is when only one organism benefits while the other is harmed. Gold Diggers are toted as being women who forms relationships with men purely to obtain money or gifts from them. That sounds like a pretty on point example of a parasite just leeching on and sucking dry their source of sustenance. Maybe this hits closer to home and you might even know someone that is like this. Its odd how this type of relationship still exists in this day and age considering all the feminism that exists and pop culture boosting the idea of women being strong, single and independent. Small side note before anyone gets their panties in a bunch this applies to worthless men as well taking advantage of the same situation I just highlighted women for a bit since the song is focused as such accordingly. Something even as simple as a coworker or friend constantly using you for their own personal benefit and never truly contributing back anything for your sake can be deemed a Parasitism type relationship.

Finally we reach the pinnacle of relationship excellence, this is the stuff dreams are made of and the type of love that mainly existed back in the day and isn't as common in our society anymore. Had to save the best for last as we take a look at Mutualism based relationships. This is a relationship where mutual dependence is necessary to social well-being. Even though they exist in a video game the relationship between Mario and Princess Peach is truly one for the ages. A generation of games spanning decades and he always goes to rescue her and she always waits for him to rescue her. In all seriousness though a truly Mutualism based relationship is what we all should strive for where you feel complete because the other person makes your life whole and fills in the missing segments of your being. Saw this and I knew I had to include it in this post; granted no relationship will be perfect, but its the effort to try and make it perfect that gets it there or as close as possible...

Granted I know we started  this off based on Valentine's Day being around the corner and the basis of typical couple based relationships this can also be applied to your everyday interactions with people in society on a day to day basis. If you find yourself being take advantage of or using others based on the types of relationships try to make a conscious decision to fix your relationship and strive to maintain a balance where you can exist mutually. For every little you do for someone today; it's that much more you don't have to do for someone tomorrow...

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Is It That Time?

Before you get your panties all up in a bunch, this is just a forum for social commentary on an issue that is seemingly on the rise; comment as you wish but its all just talking because none of us have any power to change any of the circumstances surrounding this issue on any significant scale currently. So this recently Happened...

If you didn't know that is Darren Young Professional Sports Entertainer in the WWE and one half of the Prime Time Players. Last week he made the bold decision to as they term it come out of the closet and it has been a media frenzy since he has. Dial it back a 3 or 4 months ago and we also see basketball player Jason Collins stepping out of the closet; albeit not as much a well know player as I am led to understand since he was mostly on the bench but a player in the NBA nonetheless. Coupling that with also celebrity child star Raven symone following suit after the overturn of The Defense of Marriage Act and confirming her lesbian orientation one can't help but wonder if this is the year of the gays. I'm sure we all remember her from her days on "The Cosby Show" and in recent years the tv show "That's So Raven". No ill intent meant in my words just honestly didn't know how else to put it. 

Sadly however in this life where there is good there is also bad as just recently there were multiple cases in the news here in my little island of Jamaica. Notorious for being one of the most homophobic countries in the world, Jamaica has long been the subject of many criticisms by the Lesbian and Gay community at large. Most prominently for the fact that we actually have a law here that prohibits the act of buggery aka 'anal intercourse'. This has recently been a heated issue as talks are/were taking place to try and get the law revoked on the terms that it breaches rights guaranteed under the Charter of Fundamental Rights and Freedoms which was enacted in 2011. As on would expect the churches don't take too kindly to things of this nature so both the people and religious leaders are up in arms to protest this. In light of the tragic killing of a transgendered youth in the Montego Bay area of the island one can only wonder how much longer people will be able to hide behind religion as there justification for dealing with gays in this manner. To think his choice to go to a 'straight' party got him beaten, stabbed, shot and run over by a car when he showed up at a street party dressed as a woman. I don't think we as a country can justify these things anymore just under the guise of quoting the bible  and following through on vigilante justice.

As the days, weeks, months, years roll by more and more countries worldwide are opening their hearts to the plight of the gay community at large and legalizing gay marriage. I feel like as a country we should at the very least by now be able to tolerate the idea of gays and lesbians and not be so violently against them. I know its too much to ask of Jamaica to completely be accepting of the Lesbian and Gay community but the wanton disregard for the law of the land and resorting to vigilante justice is no way to conduct ourselves as a nation. In this age of technology and exposure to all that is taking place in the world we have no excuse as a nation to be letting these type of things happen with no one to be held accountable for the loss of human life. In that same breath the lesbian and gay community needs to be wary of where they are and act accordingly to the laws of the land if you can't its in your best interest to migrate, seek asylum or never be found out of your true sexual nature.

It sucks that you may have to pretend to be something you are not or feel uncomfortable but for now I implore you to think first and realize the location and situation you are in and make conscious choices to put your safety first above all else. Most Jamaicans are tolerant of gays as long as they have a little doubt towards their sexual orientation but once the cat is out the bag all hell breaks loose. God he knows the last thing this country needs is to have international fallout over this issue and get boycotted and blacklisted by other more open and tolerant countries that we do business with. Just remember that you aren't breaking the law if you are not suspected or actually caught in the act of buggery; this also applies to vigilante justice against gays so bear this in mind while visiting/living in Jamaica. Cause this might be the only compromise that we can hope for in this day and age. At least then maybe we can all just get along...

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Which Is Worse?

I been thinking of late about a lot of things but mostly about life and love. I think ideally that's just something that will always be a source of deep thought and consideration amongst us human. You know how they say "its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" Well I have been thinking and wondering why if this is so people make it seem so hard to love someone or at the very least love a person in return. Which brings me to my initial thought about love and how funny it is; because to love someone is the easiest thing to do even though so few do it but its the maintaining and receiving of love that is truly the hard part.

They say the crappiest feeling in the world is the feeling of unrequited love; loving someone with your all and not having that love returned in kind. In a situation as such though their are two parties feelings to consider as with most things in life; there will always be two sides to the story. So that then begs the question which is worse? The person who doesn't return the love and affection being shown to them or is it the person that is showing the love while expecting it in return but not actually considering the other persons feelings? This is quite the scenario as its very situational depending on the viewpoint of the people within the relationship and those outside the relationship. So lets take a look shall we...

At is the perfect equation when you can put two people together that love and respect the love they have for each other. Knowing that you have that level of loyalty and give and take your faith in yourself and your partner is unshakable and able to stand the test of time no matter the scenario. Sadly in our current society this is becoming less and less of a standard and more and more of an anomaly. When one person gives their all for another but that person holds back the love they should be sharing it causes an imbalance in the relationship that leads to a mountain worth of problems. Most times these problems lead to the eventual end of the love being shared and typically leaves the primary lover feeling confused, and betrayed. Confused because they still love the person even though they feel used which leaves the feeling of betrayal. This however doesn't only happen in relationships as even before that aspect of a relationship is agreed upon friendships and acquaintances can end up in this similar scenario where one person is constantly giving and the other is constantly receiving. As individuals to avoid a situation as such I think we should always be evaluating the relationships we keep with people and ask ourselves what we are doing or could do to maintain the balance of being a giver or a receiver. You must restore order to the force...

Sometimes in life your expectations don't match up with the realities of life you face. A prime example of this is happens in relationships a lot, balancing your needs with the expectations of your partner going as far as being more of a lady or gentleman. You may know what you want or hope for but actually factoring in the harsh realities of life and circumstance can quickly squash any of those hopes and dreams. So one has to think if they are willing to compromise for the sake of their partner. Another dilemma of love now arises where you can either decide to live with the faults and work on them or be your own person and do as you please. We already know there is potential for a happy ending if you choose the first option so what we are gonna look at is the second one. They say if you truly love something you should let it go and if it comes back to you it was always yours. I kinda think that's bullshit cause if it was yours then they should have realized that long ago and wanted to continue remaining yours. Ignorance really is no excuse for stupidity but I usually forget that humans are strange and erratic creatures so they can't be expected to always function as the high brain function species they are. With this in mind the ultimate sacrifice is loving some one so much you realize even thou they are what you need you aren't what they need. You make a decision to let them go find what it is that they need, this way your love for them to be happy is fulfilled even if its not with you. This is something that you have to live with everyday for the rest of your life so it is not a sacrifice to be taken lightly.

So after all is said and done which do you consider worse? Loving and not being loved or loving and having too come to the realization that your love is lost ad giving it up? For me i think having to give up on your love is way worse because you have to live with the unanswered questions and wonder what could have been had it all gone according to plan. What do you think? Leave a comment with your view and why.

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How Do You Cope?

Its Monday and we all know Mondays suck and is ideally the saddest day of the week. My blog hopefully has been something most people look forward to on a Monday. Today we are gonna be talking about a touchy topic that kinda came up on me today cause initially hadn't planned on writing about it. A friend of mine that I used to be pretty close with lost someone close to them and personally not having dealt with something of that nature it dawned upon me that if I felt this bad about not knowing what to say or how to comfort them others out there might feel the same. So I figured I would make this blog-post and maybe help someone reading this or get some advice from y'all on the topic. Doubtful that they will see this but maybe they will feel compelled to read my blog for old times sake and me talking to them or anyone who lost someone like this will help them with what they are feeling. So today we are talking about coping with the loss of a loved one...

The death of a loved one is an event that all of us is likely to experience during our lifetimes, often on numerous occasions. Whilst lives are often transformed by such loss, it does not necessarily need to be for the worse in the long term. Dealing effectively and positively with grief caused by such a loss is central to your recovery process and your ability to continue with and fulfill your own life for the better. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief. Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Grief is about more than your feelings—it will show up in how you think as well. Physical responses are also to be expected. You may experience tightness in your throat, heaviness across your chest, or pain around your heart.

The five stages of grief:

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

Even though every individual grieves in their own way studies have show there is a baseline view of how grief occurs. In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up. You are your own person, with your own personality, your own life experiences, your own relationship with the one who died, and your own understanding of life and death. So you should not expect a "one-size-fits-all grief" that will suit you. You’re too unique for that. Despite your individual uniqueness, you’ll probably discover an overall pattern to your grief as it progresses.  In time there comes a slowly growing acceptance of what has happened, but it’s not necessarily a happy acceptance and that is something you have to come to terms with. As a preemptive strike to your grief try to live your life so you have minimal regrets as it helps with the grief when you can look back and regret nothing. Make the most of all opportunities and leave nothing unsaid because you never know what could happen in an instant.

For those out there in a similar situation like me where you don't exactly know how to help someone going through the loss of a loved one or some other grief in general here is some advice from what I researched. The fear of making things worse may encourage you to do nothing, but you do not wish to appear to be uncaring. Remember that it is better to try to do something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. Don't attempt to sooth or stifle the emotions of the griever. Tears and anger are an important part of the healing process. Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is the result of a strong relationship and deserves the honor of strong emotion. When supporting someone in their grief the most important thing is to simply listen. Grief is a very confusing process, expressions of logic are lost on the griever. The question "tell me how you are feeling" followed by a patient and attentive ear will seem like a major blessing to the grief stricken. Be present, show that you care, listen. Your desire is to assist your friend down the path of healing. They will find their own way down that path, but they need a helping hand, an assurance that they are not entirely alone on their journey. It does not matter that you do not understand the details, your presence is enough. Funny enough after I did this research a friend told me that all that is required of me is to be a friend so this is me being a friend. Hopefully it helps my friend, your friend or you yourself the reader. Until next time...

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Time Will Tell

Well its another Monday but we are  gonna be lazy today since we had a rough day at work and an appointment to go to in the morning. So today i'm going share another bit of a story I wrote a while back. As customary if you are interested enough just say so in the comments and I will post the rest of the story. On  a side note another reason today is a lazy blog day is cause i'm currently trying to plan an interview segment to cover a major event that is going to be happening here in Jamaica on the 27th of April so you can look forward to that blog-post next week. So please do leave your feedback on this little piece of myself that I wrote called "Time Will Tell"...

It was an ordinary day; most people would be bored with an ordinary day, but not her and definitely not him. It was a sunny, Saturday afternoon; the smell of freshly cut grass remained lingering in the air, as the sound of children playing echoed across the park. Only to be overshadowed by the occasional joyful rejoicing of proud parents watching their children play in the weekly scheduled soccer match. He sat there on his bench staring at her from underneath the rim of his baseball cap; he imagined what it would be like just for one chance. Just to smell the essence of her body, feel the warmth of her skin pressed up against his, to run his fingers through her silky smooth hair; he quickly snapped back to reality.

This was the weekly ritual of Orlando James and Maria Espinoza; a teacher at Mayfield Elementary deep in the heart of American suburbia and a single mom cheering on her child at his weekly soccer match. Orlando was a graduate from Howard State University, with a B.A. in Teaching and a Minor in Sports, while Maria was a single mother with a mysterious allure that needed no explanation. She was respected by few and envied by many, but that was of no consequence to her as her main source of pride and joy was right in front of her playing soccer on the field with his friends.

Orlando had a pretty rough childhood growing up; his parents died in a tragic plane crash over the Pacific Ocean; he was too young to even remember their faces, and only found out many years later while pursuing his degree. He was lucky that his mother’s sister, Susan, took him in and cared for him as her own; somehow Susan felt responsible for what had happened and gave her all for Orlando. Growing up he had all a boy could ever want and much more; she pampered and smothered him with affection and attention. Some would say he even loved her more than he would his own mother; but towards the end of high school he felt like something was still missing, and against Susan’s wishes, decided to become a teacher and dedicate his life to educating and cultivating young minds.

He spent the next four years developing his mind and his body, to begin his journey into defining his own life and becoming the type of man his parents would have wanted him to be. He grew into a handsome young man; fair complexion, light blue eyes, dark brown hair, 5’ 10’, toned athletic body, always neatly shaved and trimmed topped off with a smile that could brighten the gloomiest of days. Orlando was the newest member on staff and in the community, but everyone quickly grew to accept and admire his presence of character. He was the type of man that young or old, you felt a certain sense of admiration for him, from his flawless smile to his piercing blue eyes he was truly a sight to behold.

As Orlando sat there nonchalantly alternating between coaching the Little League soccer match and admiring the woman of his dreams, his stupor is interrupted by the sound of the whistle blowing, signaling the end of the game. Orlando quickly comes out of his daze and goes about his duties; he goes over and shakes the hand of the opposing team’s Coach and gives him a pat on the back for a game well played. He walks away with his trademark smile feeling quite pleased because his team had won four goals to two. He walks over to his team and hoist one particular young lad up on his shoulders, and leads off with the other players a rousing cheer of hip-hip hooray. Orlando turns around to see Maria standing and clapping as he takes Enrique off his shoulders and he runs over to the bleachers and embraces Maria.

He walks over and has a brief word with her.

“Good day Miss Espinoza; quite the little soccer star you have on your hands,” said Orlando as he pat Enrique on his head ruffling up his hair.

“He gets it from his father.” Maria replied modestly whilst brushing back a lock of her raven colored hair. “God rest his soul;” she sighed silently and pulled little Enrique in closer. Maria peered into her son’s eyes and regained her composure seeing his eyes stare back at her, “So another win under your belt, you must be feeling great?” she asked with keen interest.

Orlando’s face begins to turn a bright shade of red, with his hands in his pockets

“Well I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a great feeling but it’s really the kids that do the hard work and put in the effort to make it all happen.” He pauses uncertainly “Speaking of which; I’m having a little victory get together for the parents and kids, I would really appreciate it if you and your son could make it.”

She pauses for a moment and thinks to herself “Hmmm; another night alone with Enrique cooped up in the house alone or a night filled with merriment……?”

“Sure why not” she quickly responds. “Under one condition…..”

“Sure anything you want just name it?” he asked. Orlando’s facial expression betrays him and shows his overjoyed reaction at her response.

“We get some alone time to get to know each other a bit better.” Maria replied.

Orlando stood dumbfounded, as his brain tried to reboot from the bombshell that his ears just received. “Are you serious…?” he stuttered incoherently.

She grins a devilish grin and says “Did I stutter?”

He quickly grabs her hand firmly, but gently in one fell swoop and looks deep into soft hazel colored eyes as he replies “You have yourself a deal; just be sure you are at 453 Warmont Avenue for the party at 3pm.” 

As Maria turns to carry her son home, her hand falls from Orlando’s ever so slowly holding on for every last bit of contact from his skin to hers as they turn around and both go their separate ways. She can feel her pulse and heart racing as she smiles to herself and leaves the park with Enrique, while Orlando walked to his pickup truck with surprising vigor and a smile on his face that made even the sun jealous; he was off to prepare the evening’s festivities.

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Precisely Perfect Partner

OK so maybe my name is spelled wrong on this cake and maybe that isn't even my girlfriend but damn she winning major points in the best girlfriend ever category. It's Monday again so you know what that means; time for me to talk about some random topic to hopefully entertain and maybe even educate you. So oddly enough I have been single for about 4 months I think or something. Pardon the lack of time keeping but time kinda froze and jumbled together so don't really recall. Oddly enough recently someone asked me what I look for in a girl and if I was ready to start dating. If there's one thing I learned from my last relationship its probably that I shouldn't be in a relationship; cause honestly I'm starting to think that my idealistic fairy tale view of relationships on a whole is a bit misguided. Don't get me confused; I don't think its wrong I just accept the fact that what I expect of myself I probably shouldn't of others because they come from a different background so they have different values. Granted my views may not be that for all men but i'm of the opinion that on some level most men would probably agree with me. Enough of my rambling in any case the point is today i'm going to break down what makes the ideal partner for a man from my standpoint; feel free to disagree/agree as well as post your comment below giving your insight and opinion as well.

Everyone knows the standard definition of a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets basically highlighting both sides to the perfect woman but what I am going to look at is the physical appearance and the personality. What really matters in a woman in truth and in fact is her personality but its not like they go around wearing their personality  for the world to see. So we are at first as males attracted to the physical appearance and then after time we get to know the personality. Plus its way easier to break down the physical so we will start with that first:

PHYSICAL

• Anywhere between 5"-5"10" is an acceptable height for a female based off the fact that the height of the average male is between 5"5" - 6". Anything outside this range is troublesome depending on your own height in relation. If she is too short it looks a bit awkward not to mention people as well as police officers might judge you without knowing the full story that you aren't actually a pedophile. If she is way taller than you it looks a bit emasculating for you as the man not to mention even the girl herself might be self conscious about towering over you and not being able to wear heels around you.

• Long hair isn't so much a necessity but it is a big plus as a staple point identifier of a woman is her hair. Ideally one would hope to see shoulder length hair but due to society and fashion changing as always concessions have to be made somewhere so as a minimum neck length hair is pretty much acceptable. This is the perfect example of what I am talking about. This pic of Rihanna is perfectly acceptable as she still looks pretty feminine where we have an issue is when I can clearly see your scalp or you feel the need to carve out designs in your skull like a billboard. Still acceptable depending on the level of love but no way will it be better looking than long hair.

• A womanly asset is key; this takes form in a variety of ways on a woman and is seemingly a major defining feature to define her femininity. The main ones that ideally we as men look for are; the breasts, the ass, the camel toe, the figure, the lips, the hips, the hands, the eyes, the clean skin, and the feet. (yes some guys are into that kind of stuff; don't judge). If you possess one or more of these in an above average manner you are well on your way to being the perfect woman. So give yourself a pat on the back; you deserve it.

PERSONALITY

Here comes the tricky part and possibly the part that's going to get me into a lot of trouble. I reiterate these are just the personal musings and ramblings of myself and the men out there that might agree with me so don't take them as gospel for all mean or think of us as trying to be chauvinistic. With that being said here we go:

• An eagerness to please and loyal. Now don't get me wrong we aren't talking about like a stalker type level of omniscience where she just knows all the right things to do even though that would be pretty cool but more so just a show of dedication to pleasing and taking care of her man. Take up an active interest in something of importance to your man that he holds dear to solidify your inclusion in an important aspect of his life. Granted most men seemingly gravitate towards woman who exude qualities of their mother in the caring and nurturing manner but its what we as men grow accustomed to as children and as such we seek to at least recreate that genuine feeling of unbiased and pure love that most of us received from our mothers. Its a reason they say ain't no love like a mothers love but doesn't mean you can't try to emulate it as best as possible.

• Submissive in nature. Men ideally don't like conflict especially with the fairer sex; as such a woman who is a bit submissive in nature is a big plus as it means she appreciates the role of the man in the relationship and family. It is up to the man to prove he is worthy of such submissiveness and show his worth as a man and care giver. A big part of which entails not taking advantage of the aforementioned submissiveness but realizing it is a gift and not something he is entitled to. If that worth is shown on his part then his just rewards should be this well worth submissiveness in all its glory. Now before anyone gets their proverbial panties in a bunch i'm not saying the man should own the woman and be all controlling and such cause that's not a healthy relationship. However the woman shouldn't constantly be having to argue with the man or make snarky comments or deny him of sex out of spite or cheat on him and all these other things that have seemingly become the norm n our society. You love and work it out or you leave and let it be, simple as that.

• Confidence and open mindedness. Know your man and be proud of him in every way shape and form. At no point as a woman should you be in the relationship and not  be thinking of how much you appreciate your man in comparison to others and cherish him all the more for the good that he does for you. If that is not the case and he isn't living up to or trying to live up to the standards of a good man then you need to have the confidence to let him know what you are feeling and what you need from him to make things work and give him the chance to prove himself as a man. Also when it comes to sex a mans greatest weakness is being seduced by a woman he has interest in. Many have fallen prey to the wiles of a confident woman who takes initiative, is open minded and leads him in all the right directions. Know that you are worth a mans time and attention and prove it.

• Be caring and sentimental. You are a girl as such you are expected to be an emotional being even if you aren't  in truth in grasp of your emotions. Give your man the chance to grow and experience your emotions with you so you can grow together. Men like attention so if you decide to pay him the right kinds of attention then we have all the more reason as men to want your presence around us and be with you even more. Any man can attest to the fact that a man would rather feel like his woman is annoying him and try to get space from her than feel like he has to beg for her attention or wonder where her attention actually is being focused. Men are really still kids at heart; its like we have a favorite toy that we play with till we see a new one we want to try out but then as soon as we see the old toy about to be played with we instinctively want it back. So we are all just looking for that special toy that served us well and got us through the hard times that we can cherish and revere.

I realize I might have rambled a bit trying to piece together my thoughts coherently to somewhat string this blog together and as such I posted the above picture that helps itemize somewhat the personality/attitude of the perfect woman. Granted some of these are done on a basis of humor but the idea is in the right place and displays most of the traits I mentioned. If at any point I lost or confused you in reading this blog feel free to ask individual questions in the comments section and i'll try to better answer/express my views on the specific matter. Granted I know we are all imperfect beings and all of what I said wont exist in one person but it doesn't stop an individual from trying to emulate as much of it as possible for the person you love and are in a relationship with. Any man who expects these from a woman should be just as exemplary in his duties as a partner and also strive to exemplify what it means as a man to deserve these things from his partner. Compromise is also key because some traits will be learnt over time and others can be improved upon if not quite at the level they need to be so that needs to be kept in mind. I as a man may not be perfect but i'm going to damn well try to be as close to perfect for the woman i'm with because she deserves nothing but the best that I can give. That is my duty as a man to care for my woman.

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Cherish the Moments...

Yes my friends its another Monday that finds us here alive and well for the most part, as we inch that much closer to the end of the world on December 21st. Life is a fickle thing, one moment all is well, you are enjoying life to the fullest and the next it sneaks up and bitch slaps you in the face. What is the meaning of life is a question that many people ask themselves sometimes going even further to wonder why its so hard for them and contemplate suicide. Today i'm gonna break down the stages of life everyone goes through so you can better prepare your mind/heart in those tough times of self doubt. Its going to be ok, the positivism of these singular moments far outweigh the negativity of the many bad moments. So just endure the waves of bullshit that come your way and strive for your special times. I like to call these 'Life Moments'; they are the important times to acknowledge on the journey of life till death.

'Life Moments'

Your first crush:

This can happen really early in life or a bit later on but it is an important moment of life as it is your first encounter with that inexplicable feeling call love. Now don't get me twisted i'm not referring to that idol love for your favorite actor or singer or such; I mean an actual person you have access to in your day to day life. Some get hit harder than others that first time around but its definitely one of those things that shape your life for the future. 9/10 if you ask someone they can tell you who their first crush was.

Puberty:

As Charles Dickens so eloquently said in his book 'A Tale Of Two Cities'; "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,". This portion of your life is actually something to be happy about because it is like a rite of passage to usher you into a new age of existence and a new standing in society as a whole. Essentially like a caterpillar entering a cocoon to begin its metamorphosis into a butterfly. Even more so when you reach it before some of your peers and you notice certain things that you never used to before. Don't even get me started on the random hair growth; yikes.

Graduation:

No matter if its primary, secondary, or tertiary, graduating holds a sense of joy and fulfillment that you will take with you through the years. They hold both happy and sad attachments because not only do you achieve your primary objective but you also have to move on and leave all the memories and moments you have made. Yes you move on-wards to new experiences and possibilities but you also essentially start the process all over again of establishing an identity and persona in your next environment.

Losing your virginity:

This holds more significance to women because along side entering puberty this is another definitive moment for them. For men its just another rite of passage into manhood but regardless of the differences between the two viewpoints no one ever forgets their first; for better or for worst. This can be a traumatizing or enjoyable experience that shapes your perception of the opposite sex, your general sexuality as well as your open mindedness towards sex in general. This moment helps determine if you will be ok with what you are about to see our not.

Your first job/paycheck after moving out on your own:

This will be a crowning achievement for you solidifying the fact that you are your own individual off in the world making your own way. This validation is even more important if it was that you went all the way through school and attained a tertiary education as per your parents wishes and made them proud. Sadly that bitch slap I mentioned from life earlier has a way of sneaking up on you when you see how much of that pay check goes to taxes and your living expenses. Welcome to being an adult where you realize the government is your greatest enemy and friend...

Marriage:

Once again this one is a big one for the ladies. Funny how everything is such a big deal for them as individuals go figure. I guess life really does revolve around women after-all  Females solidify their role as mother, wife, lover when this day comes. Most if not all females have if not fully at least partially planned this day from they were younger and most times its referred to as her day even though its her and the man that's getting married. Regardless it is a monumental occurrence that on the path that ones life will take.

Having children:

The is probably the most important aspect in the latter years of your life. It leaves a carbon stamp on the earth and space and time itself as you ensure your linage is carried on and your existence is not erased or forgotten over time. They are your legacy and essentially mark the continuance of the circle of life that started when you were born for your parents and so on and so forth. They begin their existence in this world and go through the same 'Life Moments' you did. With each generation, you as a parent aim to provide them with a better existence than you had through your wisdom, experience and provision. 

Well I think that sums it up as far as i'm concerned. I know I might have missed some 'Life Moments' so to speak but I want to have a conversation with y'all so feel free to comment with what you might consider a 'Life Moment' we all have that I might have missed. Cause at the end of the day people still wonder what is the meaning of life and all it has to offer; they ask why are we here. Well today is your lucky day; since the world is going to end in a couple weeks anyways I might as well spill the answer...

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Valentines Day In All It's Glory

Well Its right around the corner yet again; Valentine's day!!! A day specifically tailored for like, lust and love. Many people around the world celebrate this day and it is more or less recognized globally as a day for confessions and expressions of love for single people and couples alike. As with all things in life you have people for and against Valentines day however; no matter how valid or lame your reasoning might be there is one thing that should always remain constant and that is your willingness to express your love. Keep in mind however that your love may not be reciprocated in the way you expect or at at all.

Men the duty falls on our broad shoulders and on a portion of ladies as well to find the perfect gift to express your innermost feelings to that special someone. Single people should try to find a common ground when buying a gift that gives the impression of intimacy yet doesn't overstep the boundary of being too intimate. Couples on the other hand should do their best to make there significant other feel extra special even more so than they usually do; especially highlighting memories shared and times gone by. The traditional gift for valentines day is typically chocolate and roses but this should not be the entirety of your gift one should take care to include something personal and significant to set your gift aside form all others that may come along. Don't get me wrong chocolate and flowers are always well and nice and appreciated; especially by the ladies but you want to leave a long lasting impression that will hopefully linger till next Valentines day.

Here a few tips for those last minute people out there:


1. NEVER WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO PREPARE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!


2. NEVER FORGET NUMBER 1.


3. Write a Poem or an expression of love that suits your personality


4. Share and engage in each others interests to deepen the personal bond between you both. eg. gaming, cooking


5. Utilize your own personal talents to make an extra special gift for your Valentine. eg. drawing a portrait or cooking a special meal.


Love is a precious gift that is freely shared and given so be sure to appreciate the day and all it is cracked up to be.....

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