Because Bigger Is Better?

BAM!!! In Yo Face!!!!! *dies laughing uncontrollably* Hey guys welcome back to another Monday blog post winding down to the end of the year and I realize we haven't had a sexy time talk in a while. So today we are going to be talking about that wonderful topic of sex in relation to the age old question if size matters. Be ye warned this is #NSFW and will escalate quickly. Now I know it might be a bit difficult to pay attention considering the pic above but try to focus with me and lets get through this blog post. So ladies before gentlemen as they say...

Whether its that ass, vagina or breasts all women face scrutiny on some level in regards to their size. Based on the law of proportions the average female is blessed in one of these three areas but very rarely ever all three. When dealing with a woman this reigns true for various reasons:

Women

Breasts: From days long ago big breasted women were seen as desirable due to big breasts symbolizing fertility. This concept has been passed down through the ages which I would surmise as a reason why nine out of ten breasts are fondled and sucked similar to when a baby feeds. Granted that in life you can have too much of a good thing but usually when your blessed they call it just that for a reason, because its a blessing not everyone has. So cherish your big boobies; bad back pain and all ladies.

Ass: A nice ass is similar to a nice pair of boobs except it has no specific functional use as with the breasts and fertility; its simply aesthetically pleasing. A similar example of this can be seen in the wild where Baboons highlight their posterior as a means of appealing or surrendering to each other. For example, the buttocks of a female in heat will swell so the male knows that she is ready to mate. This might be a stretch but evolutionary theory dictates that we are evolved from the same gene pool as monkeys so could this be an evolutionary trait that is innately passed on in our species?

Vagina: One of the rare cases where bigger is not necessarily better as the smaller and firmer the hole the more enjoyable the sex is for both parties involved. This is pretty much a no brainer however there needs to be a balance between having a small hole but yet have it be accommodating enough to accept any visitors that may come its way. Not much else to say on that but as always feel free to add any viewpoints I might have missed.

Men

The almighty dick; the primary source of the question that brought you all here today. Does size matter? Some would have you think that it doesn't and its just the motion in the ocean that counts but i'm here to tell you it damn well matters. Now granted no one is saying you need a monster cock as pictured above even though most guys suffer from penis envy and wish they did. For the most part though its just an ego booster for men to know that the size of their member is impressive and gets that epic OMG face from females when they see it for the first time. For the most part though good sex comes down to the woman and how she feels about her partner and how well her hole accommodates her partner because it is that much harder to satisfy a woman's body if you haven't satisfied her mind as well. Granted though you need ideally a 5-6 inch penis to typically pleasure a woman but their are always exceptions to the rule most will say which is where the motion in the ocean viewpoint comes from. This is why men have to work so hard at sex sometimes to make up for the area they lack in so to speak. So for those of you that have erection issues or are less than three inches when hard you might want to work on your foreplay and oral skills.

Definitely sucks that men got the shitty end of the stick as there isn't much you can do to change or improve a small penis if that's what you end up with short of getting surgery done. Women have life a bit easier as they can work on the feature they want to improve on  as well as have surgery as an option. Oh well good luck and God speed in all your sexual encounters; and ladies...

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Do You Remember That One Time At Band Camp...

Random blog time peoples; interesting thought crossed my mind yesterday so I figured I would bring it up on the blog. Who here remembers their first time? Popping that cherry, scoring that first lay, and yes this is a question that applies to any form of sex. I am proud to say that I remember my first time having sex as well as my first time getting head. proud anal virgin here though so that's one thing I wont have to remember until i'm older and maybe end up doing a prostate exam. Anywhore; saw this funny video yesterday and its what sparked this week's Monday blog topic. Well that and laziness, been working seven days a week so im one tired ass dude but gotta be on that hustle all day everyday. *cue Rick Ross music*

I hope you had a memorable experience; not so much like his but a good memorable experience. I know typically men aren't as good as female remembering something like this as its usually a more emotionally attached moment for females. I remember mine because it was like the ultimate cliche virginity moment where the guy is more or less totally oblivious as to what he is supposed to be doing and kinda just bumbles his way through it. Yep fun times indeed, that was definitely a lesson well learned. From that day onward I realized one important life lesson: "FOREPLAY IS YOUR FRIEND". A lesson so integral that I am happy to have learned it in my youth instead of struggling to learn it in my now older years. Its never cool having an unsatisfied lady or conversely a man even though its way too easy to get a guy to cum. WAY TOO EASY!! Men got to do so much to satisfy a woman and protect their reputation in bed but its a burden we bear proudly and aim to please every woman who crosses our bed sheet. Got to bring your A game every everytime and make sure you have your own signature move...

What do you think? Do you have a signature move? Can you even remember losing your virginity?

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What More Can I Say...

This will be a rant; it may or may not make cohesive sense but you will figure it out. Search your feelings; you know it to be true. This post is just something on my mind I felt like getting off my mind hence it is off my mind and unto the internet commencing now...

Sadness, Angst, Depression; all these feelings and emotions that reek havoc on our fragile little human bodies. For whatever reason we all have these emotions at some point or another and as much as we would like to be able to get rid of them at the flip of a switch we sadly cannot. Relationships go sour, people in our lives die, tragedy strikes in our society; whatever the cause we need to not hide from our feelings but instead embrace them. We must do what we can to rationalize and put them into perspective so that we can retain some level of control in this ever spiraling world we live in. RIP Michael Clarke Duncan, you will be missed. So lets have a chat about relationship based sadness shall we...

LADIES DO NOT BE THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE ABOVE. Prevention is better than cure; if you want to keep a firm grasp of that special DICK in your life then be the type of lady worthy of said DICK. DICK's are a dime a dozen as are vagina's so the onus is on the individual in possession of such to ensure they find a member of matching quality to bond with. However once you find this DICK that you want to be yours you need to do all in your being to ensure you hold on to it while you determine if this is the DICK that compliments your vagina best for whatever reason. Men are very territorial beings and as such if you have been banned from said territory there is minimal chance of you being allowed back with the same rights and privileges you had initially. We are all only mere humans sadly and as such moments will arise when we fuck up in epic proportions. Two paths are put in front you as a girl that has wronged a man or been wronged by a man...

1) Fix what has gone wrong by seeking forgiveness: 

This at times is the road most traveled by women; guys tend to be suckers for tears and at the same time when we feel betrayed or manipulated an apology or clear display or remorse goes a long way. No real man enjoys seeing a female cry deep down so do it long enough and you just may weaken his heart that has been hardened by your transgression. Granted you will have a lot of work cut out for you if you want to salvage what you so effortlessly jeopardized and threw away this is the first step on the road to recovering what it is you want to hold on to. THAT EVER LOVING DICK OF HIS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO PART WAYS WITH. You are in for a bumpy ride as men are very paranoid by nature so you will have to go the extra mile to cater to and pamper him if you want things to gradually get back to the way things were. Make that DICK know that it is the one for you.

2) So now we look at what to do if you were the one who was wronged. Simply put this is way easier to deal with as you have a wide variety of paths to choose from depending on the type of woman you see yourself as. Lets examine the top three popular choices people make:

The Vengeful Path - this is where you set out to defame, slander, or degrade the public image of the person by whatever means necessary via propaganda, destruction of property, etc. LADIES DON'T BE A BITCH AND GUYS DON'T BE A BITCH NIGGA. This path is never the answer if you have self worth, show some decorum and choose a different path. Don't be that guy/girl to take back gifts and say the sex was bad and whatever; not cool man not cool.

The Confident Path - this is where you hold your head high and realize that you are going to be much better off without this trifling two timing DICK in your life. You have a moment of self reflection and examine the past grievances of the relationship without the rose colored glasses of love clouding your judgement. You realize it was for the best as you cut your losses and move on, thanking high heaven that you found out before the situation got any worse. This is the path you should be taking and the one your brain might tell you to choose but the heart is a fickle thing and it may lead you to the vengeful path.

The Loving Path - this is where you cant deny what you have shared with the person. All the history, memories, moments, time invested, money spent, relationships built, it all takes its toll on you and you try to look past the person's monumental fuck up and you forgive them. You don't necessarily forget  as well but you decide to be civil with the person and try to rationalize the situation for better or for worse. Typically you take a small break apart and then find yourself not being able to function properly without the person. This is where this path breaks off into two more paths where you either resume your relationship hoping for better and not worse or you call it quits and learn from the experience for future reference. Just like the saying goes your ex is your ex because they are an example of what you shouldn't have in your life.

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Relationships either work or they take some work to make them work. Sometimes that means taking all the hardships that come along and having the determination to know that eventually things will get better. Granted not all relationships are salvageable and sometimes you got to know when to call it quits or you will be stuck in an endless cycle just on the receiving end of all the abuse that is being dished out. Know your limits and boundaries and act accordingly; also ensure your partner understands the same.

With all that being said I think I have said all that was on my mind regarding relationships, oh and before I forget any guys reading this can interchange DICK with VAGINA as it applies to them also. Always ensure you don't go into your next relationship with unnecessary emotional baggage that is going to cause problems for the new DICK that enters your life. If all else fails just remember that you have friends and family who love you and just stay away from relationships. Become a hustler...

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The Miseducation Of...

Hopefully you were patient and stuck around to be adequately rewarded. Now that I have your attention hi. Haven't had a chat with yall since last week Monday; didn't write up a game review blog this Friday past as I had many a circumstances to deal with. Anywhore; what will I talk about today? Can you guess what it is from the title...? Go ahead, give it a guess; i'll wait.

You ain't getting it so let me just tell you in four simple words; Things Porn Taught Me. As funny as it sounds most if not all males draw their sexual expertise from porn and then formulate their own prowess of the art as they gain proper exposure and experience. So I figured it would be fun to go through some of these things that we learn and adopted or learned to reject as we grew older. Feel free to comment ladies as I know men aren't the only ones out there watching porn but as always I mostly can only relate to you from the male POV (point-of-view).

1. Girls love to swallow cum when they give head: 

This one is such a big lie. for the most part its the opposite effect, in reality most girls do not enjoy swallowing cum. You got ladies that spit it out, you got ladies that don't even want you to cum in their mouth; hell you got girls out there that don't even want to try thinking about giving head much less actually doing it.

2. There is no such thing as pre-ejaculation:

Another lie that some have to learn the hard way. Pretty obvious mistake that us men make mostly the first time we have sex and have no idea of what it means to pace ourselves. Porn makes you think that you can just go on and on thrusting for hours upon hours until you feel like cumming but in reality you have little to no control over when you decide to cum most times.

3. Women like being spanked and manhandled during sex:

This one holds true for most but definitely all females cause women can be very similar and very different when they want to be. So tread carefully, most times some light spanking and hair-pulling can be tolerated and even encouraged. However do not go too far past that unless she says otherwise as you could find yourself in a pretty bad situation such as prison or blue balls.

4. Being a plumber or pizza deliveryman are the best jobs in the world:

I think its probably a well know fact that in most olden porn typically the pizzaman or random plumber gets paid for their services in sex but alas this is only another misconception. In fact I would venture as far as saying that such a blessed situation almost next never happens to them...lol

5. Foreplay isn't that important: 

Got to say this one is another big misconception  as most porn shows sex as this hurried thing that just gets right to the pounding and thrusting. In reality you learn that the ladies like to be teased and touched little by little. Pardon the analogy (lol i said anal) but think of it almost like a pipe (stupid plumber point still stuck in my head) that you slowly turn open that goes from a trickling stream to gushing water.

6. If you aren't screwing hard and fast and making her voice hit them high notes you ain't doing it right:

Dang; why oh why couldn't it be this easy and true all the time? Sadly our concept of constantly hearing a girl moan and writhe in passion is also another misconception that I am willing to admit I bought into hook line and sinker back in the day. However as you mature and find yourself in certain situations you quickly learn how impractical it is and also the effective use of putting a dick in her mouth or having her bite down on a sheet or pillow. Awww yeah...^_^

7. Sex can be had in many a locations: 

Thank god this is so true because I don't think I would want to live in a world where sex is confined to the parameters of your bedroom only. Porn opens our eyes to all the varying places and positions that sex can potentially take place in. Whenever that horny feeling takes over just go with the flow and be open to trying something new which may heighten the enjoyment of the experience.

8. Girls are always horny and ready for sex:

Another one here I know a lot of us men wish was true. This is sadly not the case and as such there typically is a long list of things to do to effectively seduce a woman into bed for sex and ideally a waiting period is involved. Granted there are always exceptions to the rule as just like we enjoy sex females do too and they have needs just like us except they tend to be more reserved about theirs. Well that and they don't have to hide large (sometimes small) protruding objects that clearly show their state of arousal.

9. All girls masturbate: 

God I feel so cheated that this isn't the case. First time I found this out my heart broke and I locked myself in my room and cried for days under my blanket. Ok, maybe i'm over exaggerating a bit but I swear thats what I felt like doing, a small part of me died on the inside cause I knew then and their that such a thing meant that their were girls out there that would never fully experience the joy of having that kind of close personal relationship with their own body.

10. All girls are bi-curious:

After all my years of living i'm still a bit on the fence on this one but i'm gonna have to say this is true. Girls might say they just being girls or just comfortable with one another but meh. I don't buy that shit for a second; at some point or another that bi-curious tingle kicks and they might have a thought her or there to try something but never do. Some brave souls actually take the plunge and give into their curiosity, whether its just a kiss or a grope or full fledged oral and scissoring. The world is your oyster girl do what makes ya feel good; just never give up on the dick is all we ask. Men have little to no problem with bi-curiousness; hell it turns us on in any case half the time.

Well think that I have gone on a bit much regarding all this but i'm sure you have your own experiences and insight into the topic so feel free to comment as well as send the blog to others you think might have an opinion concerning the subject matter or if they at least wanna have a good laugh. If you have any negativity to bring regarding all this its a free country and you can do so but hey at the end of the day...

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