If you see the above picture and have a puzzled look on your face then that's the same look I had thinking about how I should be writing this. Anywhore; welcome to another random Monday blog, your friendly neighborhood gamer here bringing you randomness from the internet and life in general as always. Honestly I had no clue what to write about today so I thought about just showing a movie but then i figured I would just touch on a bunch of random topics on my mind of late that should fill the theme of random Monday blog quite nicely. First up:
This dude never ceases to amaze me when he dances and this is truly a tribute befitting of the late great Michael Jackson. With his birthday coming up on August 29th its is a no brainer that the skill and spirit of the king of pop will live on for generations to come.
Secondly:
I WANT THIS FOOKING BOOMBOX NOAW!!!!! Been Subscribed to this guys account for a while and he always makes some funny video and just his overall personality is so likable. You can check out his channel and see if our tastes in comedy are similar but without a doubt this dude is a barrel of laughs. White people definitely know how to let loose and just have fun.
Finally:
I'll be the first to admit; i'm not exactly Mr. Patriotic so most things Jamaican don't always strike a strong connection with me but even though i long since gave up hope on local television this commercial continues to make me laugh every time i see it. Hell as i'm typing this up i have the video downloading so i can rip the audio to use on my phone as a ringtone. I just recently found out what the advertisement is about in all honesty because I got so lost in the cat character aka Fishbone from the commercial and his antics that the message was lost on me but I eventually got around to finding out. So that basically covers everything thats been on my mind recently that I can remember...
It's ok don't cry; we all know the blog had to come to a close at some point or another. Hey I know what will cheer you up; sharing the blog with all your friends and liking the blog's Facebook page which has so much content you will never be able to get through it all. Then after that you can follow us on Twitter and subscribe to our YouTube channel to keep you spirits up. If after all that it still saddens you that you have come to the end of this blog post then feel free to watch this movie courtesy of the kind people here at In The Mind Of My Mind.
PS. If you read this far also forgot to mention that I selected the winner of the 75% Discount coupon for Portal 2 on Steam. Sorry if you didn't win, better luck next time. Pardon any grammatical errors or such you encounter as my editor has resumed her scholarly duties and as such isn't available to help me anymore.
Hopefully you were patient and stuck around to be adequately rewarded. Now that I have your attention hi. Haven't had a chat with yall since last week Monday; didn't write up a game review blog this Friday past as I had many a circumstances to deal with. Anywhore; what will I talk about today? Can you guess what it is from the title...? Go ahead, give it a guess; i'll wait.
You ain't getting it so let me just tell you in four simple words; Things Porn Taught Me. As funny as it sounds most if not all males draw their sexual expertise from porn and then formulate their own prowess of the art as they gain proper exposure and experience. So I figured it would be fun to go through some of these things that we learn and adopted or learned to reject as we grew older. Feel free to comment ladies as I know men aren't the only ones out there watching porn but as always I mostly can only relate to you from the male POV (point-of-view).
1. Girls love to swallow cum when they give head:
This one is such a big lie. for the most part its the opposite effect, in reality most girls do not enjoy swallowing cum. You got ladies that spit it out, you got ladies that don't even want you to cum in their mouth; hell you got girls out there that don't even want to try thinking about giving head much less actually doing it.
2. There is no such thing as pre-ejaculation:
Another lie that some have to learn the hard way. Pretty obvious mistake that us men make mostly the first time we have sex and have no idea of what it means to pace ourselves. Porn makes you think that you can just go on and on thrusting for hours upon hours until you feel like cumming but in reality you have little to no control over when you decide to cum most times.
3. Women like being spanked and manhandled during sex:
This one holds true for most but definitely all females cause women can be very similar and very different when they want to be. So tread carefully, most times some light spanking and hair-pulling can be tolerated and even encouraged. However do not go too far past that unless she says otherwise as you could find yourself in a pretty bad situation such as prison or blue balls.
4. Being a plumber or pizza deliveryman are the best jobs in the world:
I think its probably a well know fact that in most olden porn typically the pizzaman or random plumber gets paid for their services in sex but alas this is only another misconception. In fact I would venture as far as saying that such a blessed situation almost next never happens to them...lol
5. Foreplay isn't that important:
Got to say this one is another big misconception as most porn shows sex as this hurried thing that just gets right to the pounding and thrusting. In reality you learn that the ladies like to be teased and touched little by little. Pardon the analogy (lol i said anal) but think of it almost like a pipe (stupid plumber point still stuck in my head) that you slowly turn open that goes from a trickling stream to gushing water.
6. If you aren't screwing hard and fast and making her voice hit them high notes you ain't doing it right:
Dang; why oh why couldn't it be this easy and true all the time? Sadly our concept of constantly hearing a girl moan and writhe in passion is also another misconception that I am willing to admit I bought into hook line and sinker back in the day. However as you mature and find yourself in certain situations you quickly learn how impractical it is and also the effective use of putting a dick in her mouth or having her bite down on a sheet or pillow. Awww yeah...^_^
7. Sex can be had in many a locations:
Thank god this is so true because I don't think I would want to live in a world where sex is confined to the parameters of your bedroom only. Porn opens our eyes to all the varying places and positions that sex can potentially take place in. Whenever that horny feeling takes over just go with the flow and be open to trying something new which may heighten the enjoyment of the experience.
8. Girls are always horny and ready for sex:
Another one here I know a lot of us men wish was true. This is sadly not the case and as such there typically is a long list of things to do to effectively seduce a woman into bed for sex and ideally a waiting period is involved. Granted there are always exceptions to the rule as just like we enjoy sex females do too and they have needs just like us except they tend to be more reserved about theirs. Well that and they don't have to hide large (sometimes small) protruding objects that clearly show their state of arousal.
9. All girls masturbate:
God I feel so cheated that this isn't the case. First time I found this out my heart broke and I locked myself in my room and cried for days under my blanket. Ok, maybe i'm over exaggerating a bit but I swear thats what I felt like doing, a small part of me died on the inside cause I knew then and their that such a thing meant that their were girls out there that would never fully experience the joy of having that kind of close personal relationship with their own body.
10. All girls are bi-curious:
After all my years of living i'm still a bit on the fence on this one but i'm gonna have to say this is true. Girls might say they just being girls or just comfortable with one another but meh. I don't buy that shit for a second; at some point or another that bi-curious tingle kicks and they might have a thought her or there to try something but never do. Some brave souls actually take the plunge and give into their curiosity, whether its just a kiss or a grope or full fledged oral and scissoring. The world is your oyster girl do what makes ya feel good; just never give up on the dick is all we ask. Men have little to no problem with bi-curiousness; hell it turns us on in any case half the time.
Well think that I have gone on a bit much regarding all this but i'm sure you have your own experiences and insight into the topic so feel free to comment as well as send the blog to others you think might have an opinion concerning the subject matter or if they at least wanna have a good laugh. If you have any negativity to bring regarding all this its a free country and you can do so but hey at the end of the day...
