Random blog time peoples; interesting thought crossed my mind yesterday so I figured I would bring it up on the blog. Who here remembers their first time? Popping that cherry, scoring that first lay, and yes this is a question that applies to any form of sex. I am proud to say that I remember my first time having sex as well as my first time getting head. proud anal virgin here though so that's one thing I wont have to remember until i'm older and maybe end up doing a prostate exam. Anywhore; saw this funny video yesterday and its what sparked this week's Monday blog topic. Well that and laziness, been working seven days a week so im one tired ass dude but gotta be on that hustle all day everyday. *cue Rick Ross music*
I hope you had a memorable experience; not so much like his but a good memorable experience. I know typically men aren't as good as female remembering something like this as its usually a more emotionally attached moment for females. I remember mine because it was like the ultimate cliche virginity moment where the guy is more or less totally oblivious as to what he is supposed to be doing and kinda just bumbles his way through it. Yep fun times indeed, that was definitely a lesson well learned. From that day onward I realized one important life lesson: "FOREPLAY IS YOUR FRIEND". A lesson so integral that I am happy to have learned it in my youth instead of struggling to learn it in my now older years. Its never cool having an unsatisfied lady or conversely a man even though its way too easy to get a guy to cum. WAY TOO EASY!! Men got to do so much to satisfy a woman and protect their reputation in bed but its a burden we bear proudly and aim to please every woman who crosses our bed sheet. Got to bring your A game every everytime and make sure you have your own signature move...
What do you think? Do you have a signature move? Can you even remember losing your virginity?
Hopefully you were patient and stuck around to be adequately rewarded. Now that I have your attention hi. Haven't had a chat with yall since last week Monday; didn't write up a game review blog this Friday past as I had many a circumstances to deal with. Anywhore; what will I talk about today? Can you guess what it is from the title...? Go ahead, give it a guess; i'll wait.
You ain't getting it so let me just tell you in four simple words; Things Porn Taught Me. As funny as it sounds most if not all males draw their sexual expertise from porn and then formulate their own prowess of the art as they gain proper exposure and experience. So I figured it would be fun to go through some of these things that we learn and adopted or learned to reject as we grew older. Feel free to comment ladies as I know men aren't the only ones out there watching porn but as always I mostly can only relate to you from the male POV (point-of-view).
1. Girls love to swallow cum when they give head:
This one is such a big lie. for the most part its the opposite effect, in reality most girls do not enjoy swallowing cum. You got ladies that spit it out, you got ladies that don't even want you to cum in their mouth; hell you got girls out there that don't even want to try thinking about giving head much less actually doing it.
2. There is no such thing as pre-ejaculation:
Another lie that some have to learn the hard way. Pretty obvious mistake that us men make mostly the first time we have sex and have no idea of what it means to pace ourselves. Porn makes you think that you can just go on and on thrusting for hours upon hours until you feel like cumming but in reality you have little to no control over when you decide to cum most times.
3. Women like being spanked and manhandled during sex:
This one holds true for most but definitely all females cause women can be very similar and very different when they want to be. So tread carefully, most times some light spanking and hair-pulling can be tolerated and even encouraged. However do not go too far past that unless she says otherwise as you could find yourself in a pretty bad situation such as prison or blue balls.
4. Being a plumber or pizza deliveryman are the best jobs in the world:
I think its probably a well know fact that in most olden porn typically the pizzaman or random plumber gets paid for their services in sex but alas this is only another misconception. In fact I would venture as far as saying that such a blessed situation almost next never happens to them...lol
5. Foreplay isn't that important:
Got to say this one is another big misconception as most porn shows sex as this hurried thing that just gets right to the pounding and thrusting. In reality you learn that the ladies like to be teased and touched little by little. Pardon the analogy (lol i said anal) but think of it almost like a pipe (stupid plumber point still stuck in my head) that you slowly turn open that goes from a trickling stream to gushing water.
6. If you aren't screwing hard and fast and making her voice hit them high notes you ain't doing it right:
Dang; why oh why couldn't it be this easy and true all the time? Sadly our concept of constantly hearing a girl moan and writhe in passion is also another misconception that I am willing to admit I bought into hook line and sinker back in the day. However as you mature and find yourself in certain situations you quickly learn how impractical it is and also the effective use of putting a dick in her mouth or having her bite down on a sheet or pillow. Awww yeah...^_^
7. Sex can be had in many a locations:
Thank god this is so true because I don't think I would want to live in a world where sex is confined to the parameters of your bedroom only. Porn opens our eyes to all the varying places and positions that sex can potentially take place in. Whenever that horny feeling takes over just go with the flow and be open to trying something new which may heighten the enjoyment of the experience.
8. Girls are always horny and ready for sex:
Another one here I know a lot of us men wish was true. This is sadly not the case and as such there typically is a long list of things to do to effectively seduce a woman into bed for sex and ideally a waiting period is involved. Granted there are always exceptions to the rule as just like we enjoy sex females do too and they have needs just like us except they tend to be more reserved about theirs. Well that and they don't have to hide large (sometimes small) protruding objects that clearly show their state of arousal.
9. All girls masturbate:
God I feel so cheated that this isn't the case. First time I found this out my heart broke and I locked myself in my room and cried for days under my blanket. Ok, maybe i'm over exaggerating a bit but I swear thats what I felt like doing, a small part of me died on the inside cause I knew then and their that such a thing meant that their were girls out there that would never fully experience the joy of having that kind of close personal relationship with their own body.
10. All girls are bi-curious:
After all my years of living i'm still a bit on the fence on this one but i'm gonna have to say this is true. Girls might say they just being girls or just comfortable with one another but meh. I don't buy that shit for a second; at some point or another that bi-curious tingle kicks and they might have a thought her or there to try something but never do. Some brave souls actually take the plunge and give into their curiosity, whether its just a kiss or a grope or full fledged oral and scissoring. The world is your oyster girl do what makes ya feel good; just never give up on the dick is all we ask. Men have little to no problem with bi-curiousness; hell it turns us on in any case half the time.
Well think that I have gone on a bit much regarding all this but i'm sure you have your own experiences and insight into the topic so feel free to comment as well as send the blog to others you think might have an opinion concerning the subject matter or if they at least wanna have a good laugh. If you have any negativity to bring regarding all this its a free country and you can do so but hey at the end of the day...
Hai Hai Hai!!! How y'all doing today? We have gathered together yet again for another random Monday blog; today we will see if we can take a step in the right direction to better understanding some quirks of the female character. Considering since I just got my hands on my copy of Lollipop Chainsaw i'm going to keep this short and sweet so I can can get back to gaming. Feel free to take offense to anything that is about to be said; as offense just like opinions are everywhere so feel free to voice yours if you feel inclined. With that being said I am going to post some vids for your viewing pleasure and then we will do a little yay or nay summary of the video...
Yay or Nay?: Nay. As funny as this was I gotta say Nay cause there is more exxagerated stories in this with not enough truth even though one or two of the points he touched on were spot on. Namely the objectifying of genders and how women tend to avoid directness at times. On to the next one...
Yay or Nay?: Yay. This holds so true most times in our society that its truly ridiculous. it more or less applies both ways but for now since we are on the topic of women we will look at it through the mans eyes. Many times men go the extra mile to do the right thing and take care of their partner and they are mistreated and taken advantage of. So sometimes even though its a battle to be fought by a knight in shining armor sometimes you aren't the right man for the job so you leave the task to someone better qualified.
Yay or Nay?: Nay. These dude have they pearls of wisdom most times but other times they go overboard with this shit cause they players at heart so they see things subjectively instead of objectively. So between all they bad past female experiences and living the single life their view of women as a whole is kind of skewered but then again women are pretty confusing one way or another most times. Just I would say you just got to hold out till you find that one that is worth you going crazy to try and understand.
Yay or Nay?: Yay. Men are simple creatures; which is probably half the reason we find ourselves manipulated by women at times but we just can't cope with complexity when we see life so simply. This is what leads to a lot of the issues that arise between genders. Granted in this video they take a pretty brazen approach to most of their comments but sadly they are mostly true as I am sure whether through experience or knowledge both male and females can attest. Men see it as a simple acronym for what they want in a woman; G.O.O.D.H.E.A.D.
G - Gorgeous
O - Obedient
O - Open-Minded
D - Dependable
H - Honest
E - Educated
A - Affectionate
D - Dedicated
Anywhore; so much for keeping it short, feel free to leave your comments below on what you may agree or disagree with. If you are female and are willing to share your thoughts on how seemingly confusing you are at time then feel free to. Bear in mind that science itself has deemed that female are emotional by nature and make decisions/assumptions based on what they feel in the heat of the moment while men are logical and base their decisions/assumptions on facts or lack there of. So this is as usual just my opinion of the subject matter and how it applies largely to society as a collective; so i'll end this with the words of songstress Keri Hilson...
