Here's Some Friendly Advice

Hi everyone welcome to another random Monday blog post. Ill try to keep this short and sweet since my planet needs me. Friend is a term that gets thrown around  and mistakenly used in cases where acquaintance would be better suited. A real friend is far and few apart and should be cherished accordingly as they not only improve your surrounding but your overall life in general. Last  Monday I talked about changes I would be making in my life  after my near death experience. Soon you will be introduced to my newest friend Tigger, but that is for another time. I almost lost a very near and dear friend to my heart because of some oversights on my part. Word of advice people never get complacent and take real friends for granted cause you don't always get a second chance to fix your mistakes in life. One of the worst feelings to experience is regret and having to live with that as a painful reminder is that much worse.

Be sure to cherish your true friends and keep the lines of communication open so you can have a long and fruitful relationship to carry you through the years. Plus who knows you just might need a true friend to save you from a bad situation one day or vice versa.

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The Simple Truth

Now that I have your attention, welcome to another Monday blog for the month of April. Since i'm trying to somewhat practice for an upcoming tournament at the end of April Monday blogs might take a bit of a nose dive in quantity as my time is very limited between work and blog stuff. Just thought I would post this video as it pretty much sums up the bare and simple truth of the most effective way to be faithful in a relationship. Granted this video is for men it can just as easily be tweaked towards the ladies as well so please do give a watch and leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

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A Woman Who Understands?

Yup its definitely feeling like one of those days. Had semi kinda promised to do a follow up to this blog post I made about what makes a good girlfriend so to speak; you can find that here (http://zalgocometh.blogspot.com/2013/02/precisely-perfect-partner.html). Sadly however I couldn't find a female open enough and willing enough to share her experiences so I had kind of put it off. To my surprise I stumble upon today while surfing the interwebs, an old video a girl had made giving females out there some sound advice as to how to be good women to their men. This video has been circling the internet for a bit now and sparks heated controversy wherever it goes. Men everywhere mostly love it and females everywhere mostly hate it; so I figured why not share it on my blog and see if I can't get some people to talk about it and maybe even educate some females on how simple it can be to please/keep a man. So without further adieu I present for your viewing pleasure...

Feel free to send this video or the blog post itself to any and everyone you feel will have an opinion. I got to admit that I have a hard time disputing what she is saying as a man; plus she is the one saying these things not a man or a man forcing her to. This may not be concrete advice that works for every man in the world but i'll be damned if it wont work for most of us. The interesting thing about this video is that, its not like its a man saying this stuff but a woman so its not like we as a gender are being sexist or selfish. This female genuinely believes what she is saying and a lot of men out there downright agree and support her words 150%. In keeping with the knowledge being dropped on the ladies tonight as well as this being an outlet for any man reading to direct other ladies to a source of knowledge they can accept or reject. Here is a list a friend of mine made from a male standpoint of things that go through a guys mind in a relationship:

"Why men avoid dating Hot women.....Disadvantages Of Dating A Beautiful Woman"

10) Other men will try to sleep with her.

While you can hopefully trust that your friends won't try to get her in the sack, distant colleagues and casual acquaintances are another matter. Unlike your buddies, they don't owe you any loyalty, and may not respect the fact that your girlfriend is, well, your girlfriend.
Their primal instincts will take over and they won't be able to stop themselves from putting the moves on her when your back is turned. Actually, some of them may not even wait that long.

9) You'll fight with guys you don't even know.

This brings me to my second point. If another man starts to put the moves on your woman, and you tell him to back off, and he doesn't, things may get ugly. Even if you were formerly a pacifist, and a gentleman, the male attention that your woman will constantly garner will have you learning Muay Thai in no time.

8) You'll become jealous and possessive.

So, you're not the jealous type? Think again; this woman will turn you green in no time. Even if she is 100% faithful, the fact that good-looking guys are always ogling her and talking to her will drive you nuts. Pretty soon, you may find yourself not wanting her to talk to anyone but you, which will eventually drive her nuts. Brace yourself, my friend.

7) No one will notice you in her presence.
When the two of you make an entrance, others may not even notice that you are there at all. Everyone's eyes will be on her, and you will inevitably fall into oblivion. If you aren't the insecure, attention-seeking type, this may not bother you. In fact, you'll just be proud that the object of everyone's attention is there with you.
On the other hand, if you always have to be the man of the hour, you may become resentful of the fact that she is constantly stealing the spotlight. Unless, of course, you are incredibly handsome, in which case, people will ogle both of you equally.

6) People will assume that she wants you for your money.

While men are trying to pick their tongues up from off the floor and women are looking for a flaw of hers to dwell on, they will invariably start to talk about her and the guy she's with (that's you).
Unfortunately, the first thing they will likely assume is that you're loaded, which is why you've got a sweet woman on your arm. It doesn't matter whether or not this is actually the case; people love to gossip.

5) She can easily manipulate you.

The next thing people will think is that she has you under her thumb (poor guy). The worst part? Maybe she does. Think that that would never happen to you? Don't be so sure.
Do you find yourself obliging her every request just because she flashes that incredible smile of hers your way? Does she get away with everything? Watch out. Although it may be your pleasure now, if you are always the one doing things for her, and she never appreciates or reciprocates these actions, you will soon grow resentful of her.

4) It will be harder to trust her.

This leads nicely into my next point. And that is: it is harder to trust a hot chick than an average-looking chick because a hot chick can usually get whatever she desires, whether it's another man or another pair of shoes.
You may spend your time away from her wondering what she's up to, and whether or not she has your best interests at heart, or merely her own. You will wonder whether or not it is even possible for her to go out with her girlfriends and not pick up some guys along the way.

3) You'll be insecure.

While you are wondering whether or not she is trustworthy, that annoying little voice in your head that always gets you to second-guess yourself will emerge and tell you that your doubts are indeed well-founded and that she is out to do you harm.
You will start to call her constantly, even in the middle of the night, and show up wherever she is "just to say hi." No, she won't find it sweet; she'll find it sick.

2) Her ego could be a problem.

A really hot chick who doesn't know how hot she is is hard to find. Chances are that your woman has been complimented on her looks so many times that by now, her head is a little bigger than most girls'. In fact, she may be downright egotistical.
She may honestly think that she is the prettiest, smartest, most talented, most fun woman in the room... all the time. Can you honestly deal with someone like that?

1) You may stay with her for the wrong reasons.

You may become blinded by her looks that you overlook (no pun intended) any serious personality flaws that she may have. You will find yourself justifying the fact that she is an egomaniac, or unfaithful, for example, just so you can stay with her.
In writing this, I am by no means saying that you should date dogs exclusively, or anything. I am merely pointing out the most widely experienced drawbacks of dating a hot sexy fuckable woman, so that when you do, you are aware of them and are thus less likely to fall prey to her charms. If you remember to keep your sense of pride and self-esteem about you, and refuse to let her even think for a second that she can walk all over you, you will be able to enjoy your hot gal without getting caught up in any of the unpleasant scenarios mentioned above.

Men near and far at some point or another have experienced one or more of these and as such this list both serves to remind us men what we should not get caught up in the heat of the moment as well as help explain to women what our thought process is like in regards to such tings. In any case these are the opinions of other people out there so don't hate me for sharing this outlook with you but you can surely thank me if you agree along with on some level or another. Drop a comment below and be sure to send this blog and future blog posts  to others as well so the knowledge can wash over them as well.

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Cherish the Moments...

Yes my friends its another Monday that finds us here alive and well for the most part, as we inch that much closer to the end of the world on December 21st. Life is a fickle thing, one moment all is well, you are enjoying life to the fullest and the next it sneaks up and bitch slaps you in the face. What is the meaning of life is a question that many people ask themselves sometimes going even further to wonder why its so hard for them and contemplate suicide. Today i'm gonna break down the stages of life everyone goes through so you can better prepare your mind/heart in those tough times of self doubt. Its going to be ok, the positivism of these singular moments far outweigh the negativity of the many bad moments. So just endure the waves of bullshit that come your way and strive for your special times. I like to call these 'Life Moments'; they are the important times to acknowledge on the journey of life till death.

'Life Moments'

Your first crush:

This can happen really early in life or a bit later on but it is an important moment of life as it is your first encounter with that inexplicable feeling call love. Now don't get me twisted i'm not referring to that idol love for your favorite actor or singer or such; I mean an actual person you have access to in your day to day life. Some get hit harder than others that first time around but its definitely one of those things that shape your life for the future. 9/10 if you ask someone they can tell you who their first crush was.

Puberty:

As Charles Dickens so eloquently said in his book 'A Tale Of Two Cities'; "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,". This portion of your life is actually something to be happy about because it is like a rite of passage to usher you into a new age of existence and a new standing in society as a whole. Essentially like a caterpillar entering a cocoon to begin its metamorphosis into a butterfly. Even more so when you reach it before some of your peers and you notice certain things that you never used to before. Don't even get me started on the random hair growth; yikes.

Graduation:

No matter if its primary, secondary, or tertiary, graduating holds a sense of joy and fulfillment that you will take with you through the years. They hold both happy and sad attachments because not only do you achieve your primary objective but you also have to move on and leave all the memories and moments you have made. Yes you move on-wards to new experiences and possibilities but you also essentially start the process all over again of establishing an identity and persona in your next environment.

Losing your virginity:

This holds more significance to women because along side entering puberty this is another definitive moment for them. For men its just another rite of passage into manhood but regardless of the differences between the two viewpoints no one ever forgets their first; for better or for worst. This can be a traumatizing or enjoyable experience that shapes your perception of the opposite sex, your general sexuality as well as your open mindedness towards sex in general. This moment helps determine if you will be ok with what you are about to see our not.

Your first job/paycheck after moving out on your own:

This will be a crowning achievement for you solidifying the fact that you are your own individual off in the world making your own way. This validation is even more important if it was that you went all the way through school and attained a tertiary education as per your parents wishes and made them proud. Sadly that bitch slap I mentioned from life earlier has a way of sneaking up on you when you see how much of that pay check goes to taxes and your living expenses. Welcome to being an adult where you realize the government is your greatest enemy and friend...

Marriage:

Once again this one is a big one for the ladies. Funny how everything is such a big deal for them as individuals go figure. I guess life really does revolve around women after-all  Females solidify their role as mother, wife, lover when this day comes. Most if not all females have if not fully at least partially planned this day from they were younger and most times its referred to as her day even though its her and the man that's getting married. Regardless it is a monumental occurrence that on the path that ones life will take.

Having children:

The is probably the most important aspect in the latter years of your life. It leaves a carbon stamp on the earth and space and time itself as you ensure your linage is carried on and your existence is not erased or forgotten over time. They are your legacy and essentially mark the continuance of the circle of life that started when you were born for your parents and so on and so forth. They begin their existence in this world and go through the same 'Life Moments' you did. With each generation, you as a parent aim to provide them with a better existence than you had through your wisdom, experience and provision. 

Well I think that sums it up as far as i'm concerned. I know I might have missed some 'Life Moments' so to speak but I want to have a conversation with y'all so feel free to comment with what you might consider a 'Life Moment' we all have that I might have missed. Cause at the end of the day people still wonder what is the meaning of life and all it has to offer; they ask why are we here. Well today is your lucky day; since the world is going to end in a couple weeks anyways I might as well spill the answer...

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What More Can I Say...

This will be a rant; it may or may not make cohesive sense but you will figure it out. Search your feelings; you know it to be true. This post is just something on my mind I felt like getting off my mind hence it is off my mind and unto the internet commencing now...

Sadness, Angst, Depression; all these feelings and emotions that reek havoc on our fragile little human bodies. For whatever reason we all have these emotions at some point or another and as much as we would like to be able to get rid of them at the flip of a switch we sadly cannot. Relationships go sour, people in our lives die, tragedy strikes in our society; whatever the cause we need to not hide from our feelings but instead embrace them. We must do what we can to rationalize and put them into perspective so that we can retain some level of control in this ever spiraling world we live in. RIP Michael Clarke Duncan, you will be missed. So lets have a chat about relationship based sadness shall we...

LADIES DO NOT BE THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE ABOVE. Prevention is better than cure; if you want to keep a firm grasp of that special DICK in your life then be the type of lady worthy of said DICK. DICK's are a dime a dozen as are vagina's so the onus is on the individual in possession of such to ensure they find a member of matching quality to bond with. However once you find this DICK that you want to be yours you need to do all in your being to ensure you hold on to it while you determine if this is the DICK that compliments your vagina best for whatever reason. Men are very territorial beings and as such if you have been banned from said territory there is minimal chance of you being allowed back with the same rights and privileges you had initially. We are all only mere humans sadly and as such moments will arise when we fuck up in epic proportions. Two paths are put in front you as a girl that has wronged a man or been wronged by a man...

1) Fix what has gone wrong by seeking forgiveness: 

This at times is the road most traveled by women; guys tend to be suckers for tears and at the same time when we feel betrayed or manipulated an apology or clear display or remorse goes a long way. No real man enjoys seeing a female cry deep down so do it long enough and you just may weaken his heart that has been hardened by your transgression. Granted you will have a lot of work cut out for you if you want to salvage what you so effortlessly jeopardized and threw away this is the first step on the road to recovering what it is you want to hold on to. THAT EVER LOVING DICK OF HIS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO PART WAYS WITH. You are in for a bumpy ride as men are very paranoid by nature so you will have to go the extra mile to cater to and pamper him if you want things to gradually get back to the way things were. Make that DICK know that it is the one for you.

2) So now we look at what to do if you were the one who was wronged. Simply put this is way easier to deal with as you have a wide variety of paths to choose from depending on the type of woman you see yourself as. Lets examine the top three popular choices people make:

The Vengeful Path - this is where you set out to defame, slander, or degrade the public image of the person by whatever means necessary via propaganda, destruction of property, etc. LADIES DON'T BE A BITCH AND GUYS DON'T BE A BITCH NIGGA. This path is never the answer if you have self worth, show some decorum and choose a different path. Don't be that guy/girl to take back gifts and say the sex was bad and whatever; not cool man not cool.

The Confident Path - this is where you hold your head high and realize that you are going to be much better off without this trifling two timing DICK in your life. You have a moment of self reflection and examine the past grievances of the relationship without the rose colored glasses of love clouding your judgement. You realize it was for the best as you cut your losses and move on, thanking high heaven that you found out before the situation got any worse. This is the path you should be taking and the one your brain might tell you to choose but the heart is a fickle thing and it may lead you to the vengeful path.

The Loving Path - this is where you cant deny what you have shared with the person. All the history, memories, moments, time invested, money spent, relationships built, it all takes its toll on you and you try to look past the person's monumental fuck up and you forgive them. You don't necessarily forget  as well but you decide to be civil with the person and try to rationalize the situation for better or for worse. Typically you take a small break apart and then find yourself not being able to function properly without the person. This is where this path breaks off into two more paths where you either resume your relationship hoping for better and not worse or you call it quits and learn from the experience for future reference. Just like the saying goes your ex is your ex because they are an example of what you shouldn't have in your life.

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Relationships either work or they take some work to make them work. Sometimes that means taking all the hardships that come along and having the determination to know that eventually things will get better. Granted not all relationships are salvageable and sometimes you got to know when to call it quits or you will be stuck in an endless cycle just on the receiving end of all the abuse that is being dished out. Know your limits and boundaries and act accordingly; also ensure your partner understands the same.

With all that being said I think I have said all that was on my mind regarding relationships, oh and before I forget any guys reading this can interchange DICK with VAGINA as it applies to them also. Always ensure you don't go into your next relationship with unnecessary emotional baggage that is going to cause problems for the new DICK that enters your life. If all else fails just remember that you have friends and family who love you and just stay away from relationships. Become a hustler...

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Time Fi Tun Up The Pum Pum Dem

-cue the fanfare music- Ladies and gentlemen welcome to another random Monday blog, won't be keeping you too long today as I have a tournament I wanna practice for so need to make time for that. Wanted to write this blog earlier but with international "No Panty Day" and some other matters that took place I had to postpone it. Anywhore today we will be looking at one of the latest phrases to sweep the island of Jamaica. As you should have maybe surmised by now i'm referring to the above music video entitled Pum Pum Tun Up (Turn Up). Now I know I have some readers from across the waters and this may not exactly make much sense to you so I will try to take the time to explain a bit before we get to the meat of the matter so to speak. In my tiny island of Jamaica just like anywhere else we have slang words cast around in our culture as I am sure you do as well; here in Jamaica one of the slang words for a vagina is 'pum pum'. As such when females or males refer to a pum pum that has been, how you say deemed turned up then they are talking about the quality of the pum pum from a wide variety of categories. Whether it may be tight, sticky, meaty, tasty, etc. Granted this is a term of endearment when directed at a lady but some falsely seek to claim that the pum pum in question is truly in fact "tun up". We all know that every vagina is basically different and special in its own way but they all at some point or another share basic qualities. Here is a picture with just a few types that someone has taken the liberty to expound on:

For the full breakdown of each vagina from 1-30 go to: 

http://www.rooshv.com/30-types-of-pussy

So as you can clearly see there are lots and lots of types of vaginas. Just recently it was international no panties day on June 22nd and ladies the world over celebrated and joined the movement to show off their special place to the world. Now as great a day as this is some participation was over exaggerated by certain ladies and as such they weren't necessarily qualified to be that proud showing off their goods. As such various mediums came forward to make it known just exactly what criteria needed to be met and what determines if the pum pum in question is 'tun up'. Shoutouts to kevin2wokrayzee and goonstandup aka Trabass_TV for their comedic and truthful views on the subject matter of their video. Hopefully my foreign readers will have no issue understanding.

With that lil tidbit out of the way lets get back on track; back to the turning up of the pum pum. I don't how this came to be so popular or when girls stopped using the car types to grade their pussies; with terms Benz punnany and Taxi punnany, but it is clear that they have no moved on. Typically with slang it is open to a wide variety of uses and interpretation but lets see if we can narrow down a clear cut criteria to base using the term 'pum pum tun up' for. Sadly i'm noticing that there is seemingly no clear cut negative term for the turning up of the pum pum but I guess logic would say that its a turned down pum pum I guess. Somehow it doesn't seem to have the same power behind it and I guess that is why every one is throwing around the term loosely. This is where our next video comes into play to help breakdown some of the do's and don'ts of a pum pum weh tun up; pardon the patois I just got tired of trying to say that in proper English.

With all that said and done I hope we have all learnt something whether you are male or female and you can effectively classify the quality of any pum pum in question and educate other on the subject matter as well. As always thanks for reading if you made it this far and hopefully you were entertained somewhere in between the top of the page and this last word here...


P.S. OK so I lied about that being the last word; if you didn't enjoy the blog though here is a smiley face just for you ^_^. Bitches love smiley faces....

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