Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Dilemma Of The Nice Guy



Time and time again you have probably heard the phrase Nice guys finish last; but I challenge you today to come to the realization that Nice guys don't necessarily finish last. In reality they aren't even in the race to finish at all. I'll get into that in a second, but on that note welcome to another Monday blog. This one is just a quick post as it was a concept that came to mind after talking to some fellow coworkers. Also apologies if this doesn't turn out to be one of my greatest blog posts as honestly i'm without light at the moment but i crave the internet so I have a makeshift daisy chain of surge-protectors and extension cords running from my land lord place so I can at least charge my gadgets.



Now fundamentally nice guys think they have it all figured out as to how they should treat a woman and all that is well and fine but what they fail to realize; myself in included as a born again nice guy is that not even women know what the hell they want in all honesty. It is for this reason that so much discrepancy exists in our world in the battle of the sex's and why it is a running joke that nice guys finish last and the assholes are winning. In truth and in fact is that assholes win the sprints but the nice guys tend to stay in it for the marathons. granted this kinda sucks because nice guys have to work twice as hard as assholes for roughly the same or lesser treatment but no one ever said life was fair. So above we have a pretty self explanatory expose into what a girl wants and needs right. Lets move on to hear what else they seemingly need.



So now we have basis for two viewpoints as to what women want from their men. I know its an established saying that women like a man in uniform but that ain't the type of soldier Destiny's child be singing about. They be about that thug life aka the hustler's ambition, granted that's fine as a good staple point of a man is the desire to provide and handle his "bizniz". One could surmise that honestly the less options you leave available for a woman the more she grows to appreciate and accept that which is in front of her. Granted that isn't always the best scenario for instance in a abusive relationship where the woman is being controlled to an extreme degree. Women do however gravitate to authority and assertiveness so we know that much to be true. Sadly its a thin line between being the man and being a controlling man based on what her current mood is. Lets take it a step further and see what else we can find that a woman needs.



So yeah if by this point you are confused then we are on the right track because Jah know I ran out of paper trying to write down all the stuff that these songs are saying are required of a man. Oh and let it be known that depending on the mood of the woman any or none of these requirements are expected to be met in full at a moments notice. WHAT, THE ACTUAL, FUCK?? So what can we take from this roller coaster of demands that need to be met in varying amounts for the variety of women in existence? Confidence is key; this is the number one reason why assholes win while nice guys are left to clean up the broken messes that they leave in their wake in the hopes of a better future. So we as nice guys need to take a page or two from the assholes and find a balance between the confidence and alluring machismo that assholes exude and the nice gentlemanly behavior that we hold near and dear to our hearts. Women like to have something to do/work on so you cant be the perfect gentleman and expect them to not get bored not having something interesting to hold their interest and tinker with. Women also need to wise out to the asshole tactics and realize the true value in a nice guy regardless if he doesn't have the alluring confidence that makes your panties wet saying all the right things. Nice guys are still learning and have flaws that can be tinkered with and worked on to your liking but with way less risk and heart break at the end of the road. Anywhore looking forward to hear y'all thoughts and experiences as such cause we are all here to learn so share the knowledge and opinions... 


9 comments

May 14, 2013 at 11:29 AM

-Standing Ovation-

May 14, 2013 at 9:29 PM

lol

Renie
May 14, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I dnt buy into this nice guy bad guy crap that yall mentally brainwash urself to tinking ur never good enuf for any woman, its plain n straight BULLSHIT, nice guys just dnt take risk to b seen or heard on a emotional level yall make it a cat n mouse kinda ting where we av to figure it out jus as u figuring out d girls, the so call thugs/bad guys r d ones who go n get it n den fuck it over nice so call guys just watch ppl walk on by, things nt gona fall in ur lap make d effort in d sense of STOP BEING SCARED OF YOUR FEELINGS, a girl knw wen ur shy or scared to do stuff makes it feel like she bullying u into being open thats never nice so most of them jus move on, i like MEN that knows wat they want n explain it n stop being so shy bout it, im nt telling u to go rape a chic now lol

May 15, 2013 at 9:46 AM

well as expected you are more than free to believe as such but there are years of scientific research and study before you that hold a lot more weight in concern to the theory of the nice guys finish last mentality and how it mirrors the evolution of our society and what women gravitate towards. Nice guys are ideally the ones that are more open and honest with their feelings on an emotional level by always showing they care and being there where in contrast the asshole is only around when it suits him. Stereotypes or Societal views even when not 100% true they do exist based on some know truth that established them in the first place. Granted you speak some truth as to nice guys not always being direct with their feelings but also its a two way thing called a relationship. If the nice guy is expected to do as such then why isn't the girl expected to realize the niceness of the guy or his effort for always being there and see where it takes them? its a reason why memes like this exist:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/374736_480968768642633_189796593_n.jpg

May 16, 2013 at 1:25 PM

LMAO love the 1st video. Ok. So that was interesting.

Point #1- I love love love me some nice guys. Always have always will. Never ever fallen for a jerk or an asshole. I know my worth, I am totally ok with being adored and spoiled silly. I'm cool with u being sensitive, and sharing your feelings communication is the key to a successful relationship. But hey that's just me.

Point #2 - I understand what Ms. Renie is saying about the nice guys not being direct. I can only speak for myself so it's really a matter of needing to know that, baby u got my back, and u won't be bullied by me. I can be aggressive and its great when u allow me to feel like I'm the big don, but I'm ok with it simply being an illusion. I need to be confident that u are a MAN and u can keep me safe and secure and u're also not going to be cowed by even my aggression. Seriously I think all women essentially need to feel secure when she's with her man even if he looks like a wimp. In the same breath however I'm gonna have to say as long as u're not clueless u'll have an idea of when a guy is interested nice or not. So be fair to both of u and just tell ppl up front if they should continue trying or just nip it in the bud. It sounds cold but I prefer u tell me I'm wasting my time from the get go. I like the nice guys shy approach since its considerate and it can be quite fun helping them to break out of their shell with u, but if u think he's moving too slow give the sweetie a little push, a little boost to let him know that yeah u're interested in being more than friends. If u're not the pursue him type, simply make it a little easier for him since u can see that he is shy.

Point #3 - Gotta say I have to agree with u Zalgo about women not knowing what they want. lol forgive me ladies but one of my main problems with us is our habit of saying we want one thing but almost always taking up something else. It is confusing. Yes I know by virtue of being women we do have the prerogative to change our minds but lord can we stick to it when its something as important as finding a partner? Not knowing what you want is a sure way to get in trouble in any situation so imagine the issues u'll face in something as important as a relationship. If u're sure what you want (male or female) u'll be less likely to face certain heartbreak.

Point #4 - Something to fix. Hmmm I've never thought of that. I not quite sure if I completely agree with that at least not for myself. Sure I've seen instances where ppl get with someone hoping to "fix/change" them into what they want them to be but that just does not sound like a good idea, plus that seems like unnecessary extra work to me (call me lazy). I'm all for as little baggage and issue as possible to begin with. Granted none of us are perfect, I'm hoping that it will be a matter of us trying to grow and build each other up for the better. not me trying to "fix" u cause best believe we gonna have a problem if that's what u hope to do with me.

May 16, 2013 at 1:45 PM

And the award for longest blog comment response goes to.....Arnella. lol
Thank you ever so kindly for making my day. If you can see and acknowledge all that for yourself from what I have said then i'm sure every other educated female out there can. The uneducated ones we will give a pass for now since they uneducated...lol The world needs more women to be doers and not just sayers; feminism exists for not to have women become the men of society persay but for equal respect and responsibility as well as equal rights and treatment across the gender barriers.

Livie
May 18, 2013 at 12:24 AM

i must agree most of the time girls don't know wat they want, but in most cases can tell u wat they don't want. unfortunately i think sometimes they have to go thru many toads in order to figure out wat they really want, which shud never be the case but it happens. in the past i think i've always had a thing for that guy who seems quiet,shy n don't say much....ya i got bored.still never been into the bad guy type, but u are right riri confidence is one hell of a thing cuz it's a HUGE turn on.love a guys that is assertive and commands respect among his peers. that's a guy that will be noticed, especially if he is a nice guy but not exactly too quiet. At the end of the day i think women should go for a guy who has qualities that they wud love to instill in their own sons so that he can pass on those traits to him, cuz obviously u looking for that husband material so y not.

May 29, 2013 at 4:08 AM

So are you seein' anyone yourself?
neat0grapics deviantart.com

May 29, 2013 at 7:32 AM

i see people everyday. lol. just messing but nah not really seeing anyone at the moment.

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