Monday, March 11, 2013

Where Has The Chivalry Gone...

Booyah bitches!!! I'm not sick anymore; and just in the nick of time because our new game arrives this week for us to review so many a hours will be pumped into it for Friday's video game review. Enough about that however because today is Monday and you are here for a random Monday blog-post ; and boy oh boy is it a eye opener. Finally got a brave female fan to step up and submit a guest blog post sharing her thoughts with the internet so i'll just let her entertain you for tonight. As always feel free to comment your thoughts and opinion in the comment section below. Well i'm outta here so see ya later...

Ladies, I am sure you all can remember a time when you were about to enter a building through a door and a man goes ahead of you and leaves the door swinging in your face, instead of holding it. Have you ever been waiting in a line and a man comes from nowhere and goes ahead of you in the line? I’m sure you all have been out with a man who doesn’t open the car door for you, or with one who drops you off at home and honks and drives away, not making sure you get in the house safely. We are living in an era where men do not see anything wrong with a woman being the head of the house. It is an apparent time of role reversals where women pay the bills, take out the man and take care of all necessary tabs. The simplest of things such as opening a car door for a lady or let her go first just because she is a lady is not practiced. Isn’t something fundamentally wrong with this?

From the beginning of time, God created the man to be in charge; to be the head of the household.  Women are supposed to see their men as powerful beings, having utmost respect for him and only God himself is loved and respected above him. How can a woman respect a man who is always dependent on her, who she has to tell the simplest of things, such as, honey please take out the garbage or if she never asks him for anything, she never receives. Doesn't a man feel less of a man when he has to depend on a woman? I feel less of a woman having to depend on anyone. There was a time when I thought, maybe something is wrong with me why I always find men who want to take from me instead of giving me things; I thought I was delusional in thinking men are supposed to take care of a woman.  As time goes by and I have discussion with other women I realize it is becoming a societal norm.  Imagine the lady in the market who has to work so hard to get her produce to sell, stays in the sun and compete with other market vendors for customers, saying she is tired of these men who want someone to take care of them. Have you ever tried picking sorrel or shelling gungo peas? Let me tell you, it is a hard task so her frustration is warranted.  Isn’t it sad when the lady who is in charge of the kitchen, whose salary is minimum wage, says she is tired of these men, all she does is give, give and give and she doesn't have any more to give? What is in the minds of men these days? Is it fine to be on the receiving end all the time?

 Maybe we women need to strap on dildos and start do the sexing too as what purpose do they really stand. Let me be fair and say there are a few gentlemen out there.  Man who treat their woman like a lady, and not only their woman but all women, as a man who is only sweet on the one he adores, is not worth having.  Statistics have shown that there are more women in college and as such women are getting better paying jobs than their male counterparts, however, some women do not have a problem dating a man who earns less than she does once he showers her with love and respect.  I am a testament to that.  My problem is feeling I am the man in the relationship as I decide when we go out as well as foot the bill; I buy you gifts on your birthday and I get nothing in return on mine. Think about it, it doesn't matter if  a woman is Bill Gates daughter whose inheritance is more than the average man will ever work in his life, every woman wants something she can brag to her friend “my honey got me this.”  Something she can look on and smile about. Something she got from someone she can be comfortable with, be herself around and don’t feel stressed every time he comes around.  A man who is always taking from you will definitely make you feel stressed when he is around you. I can remember going to the bank once and said it to a guy, who I must mention wanted to be in a relationship with me; his response was ‘bring me back five grand.’ This same individual was always asking me to top up his phone, which stupid me would do but after a while I got so annoyed. The fact is when we as females like a man, we will do anything for him, at least I would. I would max my credit card for that individual. I have offered a man an all-expense paid trip to Vegas; I have thrown a very elaborate surprise party for my male love. I can’t say what I have gotten in return from any of these guys but a hard dick. There are women who are selfish and who might have hurt men in the most cruel of ways. However, it is never fair to let the good suffer for the mistakes of the bad. Yes there are women who only talk to men for money or for what they can get but I am sure you can differentiate the opportunistic from the genuine. A woman would be very beastly to be with a man who is the perfect gentleman to her, lavishing her with gifts, giving her allowances and then he falls on hard times and she is in a position in which she can help him and she walks away. Nothing is wrong with a woman helping her man, but to be the one who is always giving, that is a curse.

At the end of the day everyone needs love. We are to love the person for who the person is and not what we can achieve by being with them or get from the person. Psychologist will tell you that financial reason is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. I’m sure if Mother Teresa got married, she wouldn't want a man that she was taking care of all the time. He spends weekends with you, you take up the tab, you spend weekends with him, and you take up the tab. If you are both professionals where is the rationale in that? If you have to hide your finances from a man, move on.  Why do you have to put the gas in YOUR CAR for him to drive? Why is it that if you go to Negril for a weekend he travels with an empty pocket and you have to do the spending? Who really is the man or the one wearing the pants here? If a man wants to be in a relationship with lady and she asks him to take her somewhere and the first thing he can say is, you have to buy the gas. Now tell me, why does he think she would still consider him a partner? Is it worth having a man who wants to see you look fabulous but you can’t get money to go the hairdresser from him?  It takes cash to care. After dating a number of guys I have come to the realization that the home in which an individual is brought up will influence the way he/she cares for their partner. If a man is brought up with both parents, the way daddy treats mommy with care and respect will be what he emulates. If he was brought up in a single parent home with mommy taking care of him, rest assured he will always be a mama’s boy expecting you to take care of his every need. I dated a guy who was verbally abusive; he spoke to me like I was a bad behaving pet. His brother heard him talking to me like that and said he can’t believe that he expects me to stay with him when he behaves like that, daddy treated mommy like that and she didn't stay so why does he expect you to stay. I was taken aback because we dated for over five years and I could never understand his behavior and then suddenly his brother brought everything into perspective. I used to say to him, my parents are still together and I didn't grow up in an abusive home so how dare you talk to me like that, not knowing he was brought up in an abusive home. Sadly, people live what they learn

Parents are supposed to play a more integral role in culturing their male child into being a good man and fathers should set an example. The best example a father can give to his child is living the life. A few months ago, a male associate of mine said the only thing he spends on is gas for his car and buying that is by choice. A few days later, he said his rent needed paying and he asked his lady for the money but she refused to give him so he is going to ask his mother to call her,  and ask for it because she will listen to mommy.  He did say she is not someone he could be with long term because her personality wasn't to his liking. After the demise of that relationship what will be his expectation of another woman? Women do spoil these men and make it bad for other women who want a gentleman and not a scrub. It is time we go back to founding principles of the man being head of the home. Men need to play their role and allow women to play theirs.  Women will never respect a man who she feels depends on her for his survival. I wear skirts and undies and want to continue feeling that feminine way. I am sure most women echo my sentiments.


March 11, 2013 at 11:33 PM

A woman after my own heart. Come on you have given us no clue to her identity, I would love to give her a firm handshake or a very knowing nod.
While in all honesty I do lean towards being a bit domineering, nothing gets me more a flutter than a Man. I have a friend who states that you can have a "MAN" (the ones that are oh so few) or you can have a "MON" (those that this brilliant lady has so succinctly described). And Lord are we in dire need of more that are MAN than they are MON. Aside from the lack of meaningful family values to teach our boys these traits, the problem also stems from many of our women settling and putting up for far too long with their "wotliss" behavior. Yeah so ladies we all yearn for it. A man who will love and cherish us flaws and all and who will also step up to the plate and be our protector and safe haven. So here's the deal sistas if he's not able to do any of these things u'll realize it fast don't sell yourself short kick that buster to the curb. Sure sometimes financially u guys might not be equals but if he isn't treating you like the queen when u are taken on the financial aspect of the relationship or even if he is employed and he's tighter than a virgin with his purse strings never chipping in, then u have a serious problem. Serious if all he has to provide as the lady mentioned is a "hard dick" then keep in mind that a hard dick and batteries come cheaper than he does and with less heartache.

March 12, 2013 at 12:55 AM

nope sorry no can do. she has opted to remain in witness protection and is anonymous. she sees your comment however and thanks you for your kind words.

March 12, 2013 at 10:23 AM

I see your "Where Has Chivalry Gone" and I raise you "Chivalry: Is It Dead???" >>>

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