History Seemingly Always Repeats Itself

The-R

Well in keeping with retro week i'm go out on a limb and rant about something that has been on my mind for a while now and suggested to me by my friend Sly Wheeler. This would be Hollywood and the incessant need they seem to have to want to violate my childhood in ways not allowed by many foreign nations. Lets go down the list and take a look at what we have in store:


1)Red Riding Hood

Now I know I might not be all hip,cool, and trendy to actually like anything Twilight or Twilight oriented but I think the direction they are taking with this timeless classic is a bit much. After the first thirty seconds of this  trailer I would be lying if I said I didn't expect to see someone from Twilight having something to do with this movie. I know money is what keeps Hollywood turning but I mean seriously; come up with something original or at least not something based on a child's fairy tale. I hope that no child ever has to be subjected to this as their eternal rendition of a classic tale or even worse for this to become the new standard of the story for generations to come.

2)Beastly

Here is another failed attempt by Hollywood to try and make something great out of something that has been done and left its mark on the minds of many generations already. Disney did this already and did it well if i might add. I am sure many of us grew up loving Beauty & The Beast; greatly cherishing and appreciating its place in cinematic history. This ploy of a movie to appeal to the 'young, hip, now crowd' honestly irks me to my core. I weep for the next upcoming generation of movie-goers and what they will have to suffer through...


3)The Smurfs

I can safely say that this epitomizes two of the biggest issues I have with Hollywood in this day and age: riding the 3-D band wagon and rehashing classics from the past for profit. Just because you put a movie in 3-D does not automatically make it a hit; anyone can make something look bad but it takes so much more to make it look good. Look at what a colossal flop M. Knight Shyalaman's : The Last Airbender turned out to be; I think we can all agree on how poorly that turned out. With that being said there are two reasons I will be subjecting myself to this; 1) Simply because curiosity is a bitch and no matter what at the end of the day you will want to see for yourself how badly a portrayal was made of the original, 2) Neil Patrick Harris has a lead role in this movie and he is just awesome.

In the ever famous words of Linkin Park; " I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn't even matter". I sincerely hope there are many of you out there that share my reasoning and can spread this reasoning to others in the hopes that one day maybe if enough of us turn a blind eye and don't support these movies in the theaters Hollywood will get the message. Hollywood, stop trying to make kids cartoons into blockbusters! IT DOESN'T WORK! It didn't work with Yogi Bear, it didn't work with Speed Racer, IT WONT WORK WITH THIS!