Which Is Worse?

I been thinking of late about a lot of things but mostly about life and love. I think ideally that's just something that will always be a source of deep thought and consideration amongst us human. You know how they say "its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" Well I have been thinking and wondering why if this is so people make it seem so hard to love someone or at the very least love a person in return. Which brings me to my initial thought about love and how funny it is; because to love someone is the easiest thing to do even though so few do it but its the maintaining and receiving of love that is truly the hard part.

They say the crappiest feeling in the world is the feeling of unrequited love; loving someone with your all and not having that love returned in kind. In a situation as such though their are two parties feelings to consider as with most things in life; there will always be two sides to the story. So that then begs the question which is worse? The person who doesn't return the love and affection being shown to them or is it the person that is showing the love while expecting it in return but not actually considering the other persons feelings? This is quite the scenario as its very situational depending on the viewpoint of the people within the relationship and those outside the relationship. So lets take a look shall we...

At is the perfect equation when you can put two people together that love and respect the love they have for each other. Knowing that you have that level of loyalty and give and take your faith in yourself and your partner is unshakable and able to stand the test of time no matter the scenario. Sadly in our current society this is becoming less and less of a standard and more and more of an anomaly. When one person gives their all for another but that person holds back the love they should be sharing it causes an imbalance in the relationship that leads to a mountain worth of problems. Most times these problems lead to the eventual end of the love being shared and typically leaves the primary lover feeling confused, and betrayed. Confused because they still love the person even though they feel used which leaves the feeling of betrayal. This however doesn't only happen in relationships as even before that aspect of a relationship is agreed upon friendships and acquaintances can end up in this similar scenario where one person is constantly giving and the other is constantly receiving. As individuals to avoid a situation as such I think we should always be evaluating the relationships we keep with people and ask ourselves what we are doing or could do to maintain the balance of being a giver or a receiver. You must restore order to the force...

Sometimes in life your expectations don't match up with the realities of life you face. A prime example of this is happens in relationships a lot, balancing your needs with the expectations of your partner going as far as being more of a lady or gentleman. You may know what you want or hope for but actually factoring in the harsh realities of life and circumstance can quickly squash any of those hopes and dreams. So one has to think if they are willing to compromise for the sake of their partner. Another dilemma of love now arises where you can either decide to live with the faults and work on them or be your own person and do as you please. We already know there is potential for a happy ending if you choose the first option so what we are gonna look at is the second one. They say if you truly love something you should let it go and if it comes back to you it was always yours. I kinda think that's bullshit cause if it was yours then they should have realized that long ago and wanted to continue remaining yours. Ignorance really is no excuse for stupidity but I usually forget that humans are strange and erratic creatures so they can't be expected to always function as the high brain function species they are. With this in mind the ultimate sacrifice is loving some one so much you realize even thou they are what you need you aren't what they need. You make a decision to let them go find what it is that they need, this way your love for them to be happy is fulfilled even if its not with you. This is something that you have to live with everyday for the rest of your life so it is not a sacrifice to be taken lightly.

So after all is said and done which do you consider worse? Loving and not being loved or loving and having too come to the realization that your love is lost ad giving it up? For me i think having to give up on your love is way worse because you have to live with the unanswered questions and wonder what could have been had it all gone according to plan. What do you think? Leave a comment with your view and why.

more.

Where Has The Chivalry Gone...

Booyah bitches!!! I'm not sick anymore; and just in the nick of time because our new game arrives this week for us to review so many a hours will be pumped into it for Friday's video game review. Enough about that however because today is Monday and you are here for a random Monday blog-post ; and boy oh boy is it a eye opener. Finally got a brave female fan to step up and submit a guest blog post sharing her thoughts with the internet so i'll just let her entertain you for tonight. As always feel free to comment your thoughts and opinion in the comment section below. Well i'm outta here so see ya later...

Ladies, I am sure you all can remember a time when you were about to enter a building through a door and a man goes ahead of you and leaves the door swinging in your face, instead of holding it. Have you ever been waiting in a line and a man comes from nowhere and goes ahead of you in the line? I’m sure you all have been out with a man who doesn’t open the car door for you, or with one who drops you off at home and honks and drives away, not making sure you get in the house safely. We are living in an era where men do not see anything wrong with a woman being the head of the house. It is an apparent time of role reversals where women pay the bills, take out the man and take care of all necessary tabs. The simplest of things such as opening a car door for a lady or let her go first just because she is a lady is not practiced. Isn’t something fundamentally wrong with this?

From the beginning of time, God created the man to be in charge; to be the head of the household.  Women are supposed to see their men as powerful beings, having utmost respect for him and only God himself is loved and respected above him. How can a woman respect a man who is always dependent on her, who she has to tell the simplest of things, such as, honey please take out the garbage or if she never asks him for anything, she never receives. Doesn't a man feel less of a man when he has to depend on a woman? I feel less of a woman having to depend on anyone. There was a time when I thought, maybe something is wrong with me why I always find men who want to take from me instead of giving me things; I thought I was delusional in thinking men are supposed to take care of a woman.  As time goes by and I have discussion with other women I realize it is becoming a societal norm.  Imagine the lady in the market who has to work so hard to get her produce to sell, stays in the sun and compete with other market vendors for customers, saying she is tired of these men who want someone to take care of them. Have you ever tried picking sorrel or shelling gungo peas? Let me tell you, it is a hard task so her frustration is warranted.  Isn’t it sad when the lady who is in charge of the kitchen, whose salary is minimum wage, says she is tired of these men, all she does is give, give and give and she doesn't have any more to give? What is in the minds of men these days? Is it fine to be on the receiving end all the time?

 Maybe we women need to strap on dildos and start do the sexing too as what purpose do they really stand. Let me be fair and say there are a few gentlemen out there.  Man who treat their woman like a lady, and not only their woman but all women, as a man who is only sweet on the one he adores, is not worth having.  Statistics have shown that there are more women in college and as such women are getting better paying jobs than their male counterparts, however, some women do not have a problem dating a man who earns less than she does once he showers her with love and respect.  I am a testament to that.  My problem is feeling I am the man in the relationship as I decide when we go out as well as foot the bill; I buy you gifts on your birthday and I get nothing in return on mine. Think about it, it doesn't matter if  a woman is Bill Gates daughter whose inheritance is more than the average man will ever work in his life, every woman wants something she can brag to her friend “my honey got me this.”  Something she can look on and smile about. Something she got from someone she can be comfortable with, be herself around and don’t feel stressed every time he comes around.  A man who is always taking from you will definitely make you feel stressed when he is around you. I can remember going to the bank once and said it to a guy, who I must mention wanted to be in a relationship with me; his response was ‘bring me back five grand.’ This same individual was always asking me to top up his phone, which stupid me would do but after a while I got so annoyed. The fact is when we as females like a man, we will do anything for him, at least I would. I would max my credit card for that individual. I have offered a man an all-expense paid trip to Vegas; I have thrown a very elaborate surprise party for my male love. I can’t say what I have gotten in return from any of these guys but a hard dick. There are women who are selfish and who might have hurt men in the most cruel of ways. However, it is never fair to let the good suffer for the mistakes of the bad. Yes there are women who only talk to men for money or for what they can get but I am sure you can differentiate the opportunistic from the genuine. A woman would be very beastly to be with a man who is the perfect gentleman to her, lavishing her with gifts, giving her allowances and then he falls on hard times and she is in a position in which she can help him and she walks away. Nothing is wrong with a woman helping her man, but to be the one who is always giving, that is a curse.

At the end of the day everyone needs love. We are to love the person for who the person is and not what we can achieve by being with them or get from the person. Psychologist will tell you that financial reason is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. I’m sure if Mother Teresa got married, she wouldn't want a man that she was taking care of all the time. He spends weekends with you, you take up the tab, you spend weekends with him, and you take up the tab. If you are both professionals where is the rationale in that? If you have to hide your finances from a man, move on.  Why do you have to put the gas in YOUR CAR for him to drive? Why is it that if you go to Negril for a weekend he travels with an empty pocket and you have to do the spending? Who really is the man or the one wearing the pants here? If a man wants to be in a relationship with lady and she asks him to take her somewhere and the first thing he can say is, you have to buy the gas. Now tell me, why does he think she would still consider him a partner? Is it worth having a man who wants to see you look fabulous but you can’t get money to go the hairdresser from him?  It takes cash to care. After dating a number of guys I have come to the realization that the home in which an individual is brought up will influence the way he/she cares for their partner. If a man is brought up with both parents, the way daddy treats mommy with care and respect will be what he emulates. If he was brought up in a single parent home with mommy taking care of him, rest assured he will always be a mama’s boy expecting you to take care of his every need. I dated a guy who was verbally abusive; he spoke to me like I was a bad behaving pet. His brother heard him talking to me like that and said he can’t believe that he expects me to stay with him when he behaves like that, daddy treated mommy like that and she didn't stay so why does he expect you to stay. I was taken aback because we dated for over five years and I could never understand his behavior and then suddenly his brother brought everything into perspective. I used to say to him, my parents are still together and I didn't grow up in an abusive home so how dare you talk to me like that, not knowing he was brought up in an abusive home. Sadly, people live what they learn. 

Parents are supposed to play a more integral role in culturing their male child into being a good man and fathers should set an example. The best example a father can give to his child is living the life. A few months ago, a male associate of mine said the only thing he spends on is gas for his car and buying that is by choice. A few days later, he said his rent needed paying and he asked his lady for the money but she refused to give him so he is going to ask his mother to call her,  and ask for it because she will listen to mommy.  He did say she is not someone he could be with long term because her personality wasn't to his liking. After the demise of that relationship what will be his expectation of another woman? Women do spoil these men and make it bad for other women who want a gentleman and not a scrub. It is time we go back to founding principles of the man being head of the home. Men need to play their role and allow women to play theirs.  Women will never respect a man who she feels depends on her for his survival. I wear skirts and undies and want to continue feeling that feminine way. I am sure most women echo my sentiments.

more.

Precisely Perfect Partner

OK so maybe my name is spelled wrong on this cake and maybe that isn't even my girlfriend but damn she winning major points in the best girlfriend ever category. It's Monday again so you know what that means; time for me to talk about some random topic to hopefully entertain and maybe even educate you. So oddly enough I have been single for about 4 months I think or something. Pardon the lack of time keeping but time kinda froze and jumbled together so don't really recall. Oddly enough recently someone asked me what I look for in a girl and if I was ready to start dating. If there's one thing I learned from my last relationship its probably that I shouldn't be in a relationship; cause honestly I'm starting to think that my idealistic fairy tale view of relationships on a whole is a bit misguided. Don't get me confused; I don't think its wrong I just accept the fact that what I expect of myself I probably shouldn't of others because they come from a different background so they have different values. Granted my views may not be that for all men but i'm of the opinion that on some level most men would probably agree with me. Enough of my rambling in any case the point is today i'm going to break down what makes the ideal partner for a man from my standpoint; feel free to disagree/agree as well as post your comment below giving your insight and opinion as well.

Everyone knows the standard definition of a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets basically highlighting both sides to the perfect woman but what I am going to look at is the physical appearance and the personality. What really matters in a woman in truth and in fact is her personality but its not like they go around wearing their personality  for the world to see. So we are at first as males attracted to the physical appearance and then after time we get to know the personality. Plus its way easier to break down the physical so we will start with that first:

PHYSICAL

• Anywhere between 5"-5"10" is an acceptable height for a female based off the fact that the height of the average male is between 5"5" - 6". Anything outside this range is troublesome depending on your own height in relation. If she is too short it looks a bit awkward not to mention people as well as police officers might judge you without knowing the full story that you aren't actually a pedophile. If she is way taller than you it looks a bit emasculating for you as the man not to mention even the girl herself might be self conscious about towering over you and not being able to wear heels around you.

• Long hair isn't so much a necessity but it is a big plus as a staple point identifier of a woman is her hair. Ideally one would hope to see shoulder length hair but due to society and fashion changing as always concessions have to be made somewhere so as a minimum neck length hair is pretty much acceptable. This is the perfect example of what I am talking about. This pic of Rihanna is perfectly acceptable as she still looks pretty feminine where we have an issue is when I can clearly see your scalp or you feel the need to carve out designs in your skull like a billboard. Still acceptable depending on the level of love but no way will it be better looking than long hair.

• A womanly asset is key; this takes form in a variety of ways on a woman and is seemingly a major defining feature to define her femininity. The main ones that ideally we as men look for are; the breasts, the ass, the camel toe, the figure, the lips, the hips, the hands, the eyes, the clean skin, and the feet. (yes some guys are into that kind of stuff; don't judge). If you possess one or more of these in an above average manner you are well on your way to being the perfect woman. So give yourself a pat on the back; you deserve it.

PERSONALITY

Here comes the tricky part and possibly the part that's going to get me into a lot of trouble. I reiterate these are just the personal musings and ramblings of myself and the men out there that might agree with me so don't take them as gospel for all mean or think of us as trying to be chauvinistic. With that being said here we go:

• An eagerness to please and loyal. Now don't get me wrong we aren't talking about like a stalker type level of omniscience where she just knows all the right things to do even though that would be pretty cool but more so just a show of dedication to pleasing and taking care of her man. Take up an active interest in something of importance to your man that he holds dear to solidify your inclusion in an important aspect of his life. Granted most men seemingly gravitate towards woman who exude qualities of their mother in the caring and nurturing manner but its what we as men grow accustomed to as children and as such we seek to at least recreate that genuine feeling of unbiased and pure love that most of us received from our mothers. Its a reason they say ain't no love like a mothers love but doesn't mean you can't try to emulate it as best as possible.

• Submissive in nature. Men ideally don't like conflict especially with the fairer sex; as such a woman who is a bit submissive in nature is a big plus as it means she appreciates the role of the man in the relationship and family. It is up to the man to prove he is worthy of such submissiveness and show his worth as a man and care giver. A big part of which entails not taking advantage of the aforementioned submissiveness but realizing it is a gift and not something he is entitled to. If that worth is shown on his part then his just rewards should be this well worth submissiveness in all its glory. Now before anyone gets their proverbial panties in a bunch i'm not saying the man should own the woman and be all controlling and such cause that's not a healthy relationship. However the woman shouldn't constantly be having to argue with the man or make snarky comments or deny him of sex out of spite or cheat on him and all these other things that have seemingly become the norm n our society. You love and work it out or you leave and let it be, simple as that.

• Confidence and open mindedness. Know your man and be proud of him in every way shape and form. At no point as a woman should you be in the relationship and not  be thinking of how much you appreciate your man in comparison to others and cherish him all the more for the good that he does for you. If that is not the case and he isn't living up to or trying to live up to the standards of a good man then you need to have the confidence to let him know what you are feeling and what you need from him to make things work and give him the chance to prove himself as a man. Also when it comes to sex a mans greatest weakness is being seduced by a woman he has interest in. Many have fallen prey to the wiles of a confident woman who takes initiative, is open minded and leads him in all the right directions. Know that you are worth a mans time and attention and prove it.

• Be caring and sentimental. You are a girl as such you are expected to be an emotional being even if you aren't  in truth in grasp of your emotions. Give your man the chance to grow and experience your emotions with you so you can grow together. Men like attention so if you decide to pay him the right kinds of attention then we have all the more reason as men to want your presence around us and be with you even more. Any man can attest to the fact that a man would rather feel like his woman is annoying him and try to get space from her than feel like he has to beg for her attention or wonder where her attention actually is being focused. Men are really still kids at heart; its like we have a favorite toy that we play with till we see a new one we want to try out but then as soon as we see the old toy about to be played with we instinctively want it back. So we are all just looking for that special toy that served us well and got us through the hard times that we can cherish and revere.

I realize I might have rambled a bit trying to piece together my thoughts coherently to somewhat string this blog together and as such I posted the above picture that helps itemize somewhat the personality/attitude of the perfect woman. Granted some of these are done on a basis of humor but the idea is in the right place and displays most of the traits I mentioned. If at any point I lost or confused you in reading this blog feel free to ask individual questions in the comments section and i'll try to better answer/express my views on the specific matter. Granted I know we are all imperfect beings and all of what I said wont exist in one person but it doesn't stop an individual from trying to emulate as much of it as possible for the person you love and are in a relationship with. Any man who expects these from a woman should be just as exemplary in his duties as a partner and also strive to exemplify what it means as a man to deserve these things from his partner. Compromise is also key because some traits will be learnt over time and others can be improved upon if not quite at the level they need to be so that needs to be kept in mind. I as a man may not be perfect but i'm going to damn well try to be as close to perfect for the woman i'm with because she deserves nothing but the best that I can give. That is my duty as a man to care for my woman.

more.