Step Yo Game Up If You Want A Better Prize...

So a couple weeks back I wrote a blog talking about women and what they want from a man. Granted it was quite the long winded expose of sorts but we somehow got through it in one piece; you can go check it if you haven't seen it here: http://zalgocometh.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-dilemma-of-nice-guy.html. With that being said on today's random blog-post I figured I would talk about the similar topic but from a different angle I have been thinking of. So I been thinking a lot about life and companionship and how as humans we really don't exist on this world to end up alone and without someone to compliment our personality and being as individuals. Sadly however this seems to have  become near impossible or at the very least increasingly difficult with each generation that passes. Whether this is due to feminism, a change in societal views or maybe we as men have lost sight of what a man should be and and woman should be but something has gone very awry. This current state of affairs leaves men asking the above "just what do these women really want from us?" but in reality we are more wondering why don't they want what we expect them to want?

Lets take it back for a second; kick it old school for a bit. Granted the olden ways may or may not be the best ways but if there wasn't some truth to the saying then it wouldn't exist in the first place. So back in the days of time long ago when we had kings and queens and prince and princess's and peasants and paupers; ok you get the idea . Back in medieval times granted women were somewhat repressed and not afforded most the opportunities men were but these were simpler times when all a man had to do was prove his valor to earn his fair maiden's hand in marriage; well that or slay a dragon I guess but ain't no body got time for that. Fast forward to the age of the 60's when it was all peace and love all around and people were way open and upfront with drugs, peace and love. There weren't really any rules or mixed messages you were just either down with the flower power or you were a square who was just a lackey for the government and against freedom.This was probably where the age of female empowerment and feminism started kicking off and would forever change the gender roles for years to come.

Salt N Pepa - Independent by jpdc11

So with feminism empowering women all the round world we saw a dramatic change in women and how they saw their roles in society. Somewhere along the line women started wanting to not only be treated equally but also allowed the same tendencies as men. Essentially becoming what they saw as a man and having that level of equality in their head. We see cases of this in the media such as the song above shows compound that with the thought with this new found independence and freedom the woman no longer even needs a man because she feels she runs shit and was truly meant to be a strong independent woman. Now i'm not saying there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have equal rights and self worth but I think when it gets to the stage where you feel you don't need or what a man or that none are out there for you that you need to realize that there is much fuckery afoot. Just because you are afforded some of the things men had over the years does not disavow the fact that at your core you are a woman and are held at such the standards that are what define a woman. As such men will still try to hold the door open for you at times or see you as the fairer sex and want to shelter and protect you. It is not an insult or a ploy to downplay your independence and strength because we as men all have and love our mothers so respect is always due in some way or another. So lets look at some of the things men hope for/expect from women.

No mind games, no second guessing, no hints just be open and upfront. All the years of feminism and equality talks and you want us to believe you don't have the confidence to this day to speak up? Nah; ain't nobody got time for that. If you are a blessed woman who actually knows what she wants you really shouldn't be downplaying your uniqueness and lowering yourself to the common woman's status. This is quite possibly one of the sexiest things a woman can do; when she exudes confidence she basically confuses the guy cause he is more than likely not used to a woman being like that; essentially being the hunter and not the hunted. Just know that the onus is on you to not only get but also hold on to the good in the man that you see and want for yourself. Once you accomplish this and essentially have secured your man you will bring out the best in him continually and he will do so with you continually to ensure both parties involvement and happiness. If you want something serious say you want something serious, if you want a fuck buddy then say you want a fuck buddy. Take nothing for granted and explain everything and you will see the quality of your life with men increase I guaran-damn-tee it. This is your first step to being more than a woman...

Once you have begun your journey to secure the man you so desire you have the maintenance aspect to ascertain. At the end of the day a mans desires or goals for interaction with a woman are usually pretty clear. He either wants sex, wants to be just friends, or wants to be friends until he can get sex with minimal complications. As such there isn't much guessing that needs to be done on the woman's part in terms of what it takes to keep and/or please your man; so this is why I feel the onus of the relationship initiation process should fall primarily with the female to ascertain whether or not her intended male is worthy of such from her. From there she can help the man to shape and improve himself to be the perfect match for her and she can provide the love and devotion he needs from her. You don't need the distractions of what is around you or may appeal to you because that will only lead to problems; people say they need space from their partner all the time which I think is dumb. If that's the case why the hell did you bother getting a partner if your space is that important to you in the first place. They say the devil finds work for idle hands but I say if you have your hands all around your partner loving them then what else you gonna go find time for?

Let me try to wrap this all up and hope I haven't confused and lost you by now. You know that saying if you think it you can achieve it? Well as cliche as that sounds its actually a reality but the problem is that figuring out what a lady wants when you aren't one is a tricky game. Most women either aren't sure what they really need or want a mid balance which is hard to achieve. They want a respectful man but in the same breath want a strong authoritative man who will tell them what to do but still somehow not ignore what it is that they want in the process. They want a man that will listen to them rant and complain but at the same time not point out the flaws and fallacies of what they are complaining about. they want a man who is great at sex but also respectful of her body and when it is she wants to have sex or not even though a man has a much higher sex drive than a woman in most cases. The list goes on and on, balance isn't impossible in some cases but have you ever tried balancing a father on a needle? that shit ain't easy; so I feel its better to eliminate the second guessing and just let the man know straight up what it is he is getting himself into and working towards securing for himself and his future. Let him know what he is making a decision towards putting up with for the future to come. Courting is most definitely still a man's responsibility but the onus is on the woman to guide and give feedback along the way to show that whatever effort the man is to make is abundantly worthwhile and necessary because you are more than a woman. 

So basically if tldr; watch from the 1:13 mark cause it will eliminate a lot of the unnecessary relationship head games:

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Where Has The Chivalry Gone...

Booyah bitches!!! I'm not sick anymore; and just in the nick of time because our new game arrives this week for us to review so many a hours will be pumped into it for Friday's video game review. Enough about that however because today is Monday and you are here for a random Monday blog-post ; and boy oh boy is it a eye opener. Finally got a brave female fan to step up and submit a guest blog post sharing her thoughts with the internet so i'll just let her entertain you for tonight. As always feel free to comment your thoughts and opinion in the comment section below. Well i'm outta here so see ya later...

Ladies, I am sure you all can remember a time when you were about to enter a building through a door and a man goes ahead of you and leaves the door swinging in your face, instead of holding it. Have you ever been waiting in a line and a man comes from nowhere and goes ahead of you in the line? I’m sure you all have been out with a man who doesn’t open the car door for you, or with one who drops you off at home and honks and drives away, not making sure you get in the house safely. We are living in an era where men do not see anything wrong with a woman being the head of the house. It is an apparent time of role reversals where women pay the bills, take out the man and take care of all necessary tabs. The simplest of things such as opening a car door for a lady or let her go first just because she is a lady is not practiced. Isn’t something fundamentally wrong with this?

From the beginning of time, God created the man to be in charge; to be the head of the household.  Women are supposed to see their men as powerful beings, having utmost respect for him and only God himself is loved and respected above him. How can a woman respect a man who is always dependent on her, who she has to tell the simplest of things, such as, honey please take out the garbage or if she never asks him for anything, she never receives. Doesn't a man feel less of a man when he has to depend on a woman? I feel less of a woman having to depend on anyone. There was a time when I thought, maybe something is wrong with me why I always find men who want to take from me instead of giving me things; I thought I was delusional in thinking men are supposed to take care of a woman.  As time goes by and I have discussion with other women I realize it is becoming a societal norm.  Imagine the lady in the market who has to work so hard to get her produce to sell, stays in the sun and compete with other market vendors for customers, saying she is tired of these men who want someone to take care of them. Have you ever tried picking sorrel or shelling gungo peas? Let me tell you, it is a hard task so her frustration is warranted.  Isn’t it sad when the lady who is in charge of the kitchen, whose salary is minimum wage, says she is tired of these men, all she does is give, give and give and she doesn't have any more to give? What is in the minds of men these days? Is it fine to be on the receiving end all the time?

 Maybe we women need to strap on dildos and start do the sexing too as what purpose do they really stand. Let me be fair and say there are a few gentlemen out there.  Man who treat their woman like a lady, and not only their woman but all women, as a man who is only sweet on the one he adores, is not worth having.  Statistics have shown that there are more women in college and as such women are getting better paying jobs than their male counterparts, however, some women do not have a problem dating a man who earns less than she does once he showers her with love and respect.  I am a testament to that.  My problem is feeling I am the man in the relationship as I decide when we go out as well as foot the bill; I buy you gifts on your birthday and I get nothing in return on mine. Think about it, it doesn't matter if  a woman is Bill Gates daughter whose inheritance is more than the average man will ever work in his life, every woman wants something she can brag to her friend “my honey got me this.”  Something she can look on and smile about. Something she got from someone she can be comfortable with, be herself around and don’t feel stressed every time he comes around.  A man who is always taking from you will definitely make you feel stressed when he is around you. I can remember going to the bank once and said it to a guy, who I must mention wanted to be in a relationship with me; his response was ‘bring me back five grand.’ This same individual was always asking me to top up his phone, which stupid me would do but after a while I got so annoyed. The fact is when we as females like a man, we will do anything for him, at least I would. I would max my credit card for that individual. I have offered a man an all-expense paid trip to Vegas; I have thrown a very elaborate surprise party for my male love. I can’t say what I have gotten in return from any of these guys but a hard dick. There are women who are selfish and who might have hurt men in the most cruel of ways. However, it is never fair to let the good suffer for the mistakes of the bad. Yes there are women who only talk to men for money or for what they can get but I am sure you can differentiate the opportunistic from the genuine. A woman would be very beastly to be with a man who is the perfect gentleman to her, lavishing her with gifts, giving her allowances and then he falls on hard times and she is in a position in which she can help him and she walks away. Nothing is wrong with a woman helping her man, but to be the one who is always giving, that is a curse.

At the end of the day everyone needs love. We are to love the person for who the person is and not what we can achieve by being with them or get from the person. Psychologist will tell you that financial reason is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. I’m sure if Mother Teresa got married, she wouldn't want a man that she was taking care of all the time. He spends weekends with you, you take up the tab, you spend weekends with him, and you take up the tab. If you are both professionals where is the rationale in that? If you have to hide your finances from a man, move on.  Why do you have to put the gas in YOUR CAR for him to drive? Why is it that if you go to Negril for a weekend he travels with an empty pocket and you have to do the spending? Who really is the man or the one wearing the pants here? If a man wants to be in a relationship with lady and she asks him to take her somewhere and the first thing he can say is, you have to buy the gas. Now tell me, why does he think she would still consider him a partner? Is it worth having a man who wants to see you look fabulous but you can’t get money to go the hairdresser from him?  It takes cash to care. After dating a number of guys I have come to the realization that the home in which an individual is brought up will influence the way he/she cares for their partner. If a man is brought up with both parents, the way daddy treats mommy with care and respect will be what he emulates. If he was brought up in a single parent home with mommy taking care of him, rest assured he will always be a mama’s boy expecting you to take care of his every need. I dated a guy who was verbally abusive; he spoke to me like I was a bad behaving pet. His brother heard him talking to me like that and said he can’t believe that he expects me to stay with him when he behaves like that, daddy treated mommy like that and she didn't stay so why does he expect you to stay. I was taken aback because we dated for over five years and I could never understand his behavior and then suddenly his brother brought everything into perspective. I used to say to him, my parents are still together and I didn't grow up in an abusive home so how dare you talk to me like that, not knowing he was brought up in an abusive home. Sadly, people live what they learn. 

Parents are supposed to play a more integral role in culturing their male child into being a good man and fathers should set an example. The best example a father can give to his child is living the life. A few months ago, a male associate of mine said the only thing he spends on is gas for his car and buying that is by choice. A few days later, he said his rent needed paying and he asked his lady for the money but she refused to give him so he is going to ask his mother to call her,  and ask for it because she will listen to mommy.  He did say she is not someone he could be with long term because her personality wasn't to his liking. After the demise of that relationship what will be his expectation of another woman? Women do spoil these men and make it bad for other women who want a gentleman and not a scrub. It is time we go back to founding principles of the man being head of the home. Men need to play their role and allow women to play theirs.  Women will never respect a man who she feels depends on her for his survival. I wear skirts and undies and want to continue feeling that feminine way. I am sure most women echo my sentiments.

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